Tuesday, March 08, 2011

How to Feel Twenty Years Younger

  • Go to a concert with a girlfriend and gab like kids the whole way there, the whole way back and everytime the music is not blaring.
  • Be a tad saucy, but still very sweet, with the bartenders when ordering drinks. They'll like your attitude--and maybe your cleavage--and serve you faster next time.
  • Enjoy and dance a little during the opening band, even if you haven't heard of them before, and vow to find their stuff online when you get home.
  • Let a guy old enough to be your dad buy "a pretty young lady" (you) a shot of whiskey.
  • Squeal like a teenager when the lights go down and the band's "coming out" song comes on. Especially when it actually is a song you loved as a teen.
  • Squeal like a "tween" when the band actually comes out.
  • Bounce like a fool to every single song. (Until you're sweating like a freak and dripping on strangers, but don't give two shits, because you're having so much fucking fun.)
  • About two-thirds of the way through the show, yell, "I'm going in!" And bounce into the throng of sweating, shoving, bouncing overgrown frat boys up front. (Even if you have to come back out one song later because there is no oxygen up there... Revel a bit when a couple of young, cute guys give you attaboys on the way out.)
  • During the first encore say, "Fuck it." And throw yourself back up front.
  • Laugh, but still feel flattered, when you are offered a hand up so you can crowd surf during the second encore.
  • Hang out up front after the show to get a set list. And actually get one before the other young cuties get theirs.
Good times.

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