Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Fun Facts with Sarah and Johnny

Fact #1:
McCain cannot use the Internet or email. Not because he's an idiot and oooooold to boot, but because--drum roll-his arm was injured when he was a POW. Whew! Good thing nobody told Stephen Hawking you need two working arms to work that newfangled doohickey.
Fact #2:
Sarah Palin had a tanning bed installed in the governor's mansion. Never minding that they cost anywhere from $2500 (used) to $30,000 (professional, new) and suggest a strange level of vanity for a serious person of any gender, but Palin supporters are now suggesting, "Hey, she's not vain. She has chronic depression." OOOOoooooooohhhh! Much better! McCain is moments away from his next melanoma, a cancer which he has never been "cured of" as his campaign suggests, otherwise, he WOULDN'T have had it repeatedly, even after the lymph nodes it had invaded were removed. He's had or has vertigo, an enlarged prostate, kidney/bladder stones, high cholesterol, degenerative arthritis which leaves him in chronic pain, high blood pressure, polyps and diverticulitis in his colon. He's 72. She is a heartbeat, literally, away from the Presidency if the dude is elected, and she has CHRONIC DEPRESSION?? OOoooooohhh, okay!! Much better!!
Fact #3:
Palin hired a high school friend to head Alaska's State Division of Agriculture because her friend liked cows.
Fact #4:
If it weren't for McCain, I wouldn't be blogging right now. Thanks, Johnny!
Fact #5:
"The fundamentals of the economy are strong." And by fundamentals I mean, uh... um... American workers?? Uh, yeah, American workers, that's what I meant.

Oh, facts! I love you silly old facts!

1 comment:

Vicki said...

Wonderful, isn't it?

I forget what show it was, but did you see the reporter interviewing her 5 or so close female friends? At least 2 of them said they were still undecided as to whom they'd vote for.

If your close friends don't have enough confidence in your ability to govern to tell national TV that they're voting for you--you got problems, toots!!!!!

And, have I not been paying attention to the right media outlets, or has the Obama campaign been too kind in not pointing out via round-the-clock attack ads what a shitty idea it is to elect a member of the Keating 5 to sort out our failing economy?

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