"The New Adventures of Old Kayly" or "The TMI Episode of Blahgblahgblahg"

Have you see the show "The New Adventures of Old Christine" yet? It is veddyveddy funny. But, disturbingly, the character seems to be based on a divorced version of me. For example--and this is just one in a series of jillions--tonight I spent all night perimenopausally driving everyone nuts with "I'm soooo hot!! I'm melting! I can barely breathe, I'm so hot!! I'm soaking wet with sweat! Turn the heat down!" Then, "I'm freeeezing! It's so cold!!! I'm shivering! Turn the heat up!" And then we watched the DVRed show at 10 p.m. and DAMN! if the whole show isn't about her perimenopause! Then when I told Nate I think the show's writers are spying on me, he said, "It's always all about you, isn't it?" To which I replied, "Yes, and that's what last week's show was about remember?" (BTW, I even own the bra she wore to comic effect in this week's episode.) This isn't meant to flatter myself. Old Christine is a mess. But the show is pretty effing funny. Nate and I laughed our ayusses off this week and last. It seems to get funnier every week. Check it out. (Mondays ABC 9:30-10)

Perimenopause reminds me: today in Targét, I saw a lady, a normal everyday lady, with a goatee. No 'stache, just the goatee. And, at first, I was, like, "Whoa! EW!" But, then, I actually thought it was pretty cool. She could easily remove it, but she embraces her difference, or quirk, or what some might call flaw. Now, don't get me wrong, I pluck and--will continue to do so--OBSESSIVELY!! (I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome--among my other "frailties"--so hirsuitism goes with the course. For me this has always meant a lot of chin hairs and--pardon the imagery--overgrown shrubbery. These problems seem to be paradoxically [or not, I don't know; maybe I should ask my gyno next Monday] getting better as I get "more and more" perimenopausal.) But I have tremendous respect for this woman, who seemed unconcerned with society's idea of acceptable, beauty-wise. So "YAY! Goatee Lady!! I salute you"

Lastly, I will be watching my brother's taxidermy shop for him during some time in which he will be away. I'll let y'all do with this tidbit as you wish. :-)

Going Out with Friends Long Not Seen

Tonight will be the first night I will see a few old friends since the ECT. I'm nervous. It's like a coming out party or something, and I feel worried that I will not fulfill expectations. Can I show them I'm "happy enough?" Will I piss anyone off with my still occasionally poor memory? Will I get drunk and embarrass myself? (We're going to a brewpub, and lately beer--and just beer, not liquor or wine--gets me pretty high after one or two.) Maybe I'll stick to their home brewed root beer and water.

Some of them I've seen once or twice in the past year because of the "holing up" which took place as the depression deepened. I feel as if I will be on display or something tonight. None of these people know anyone else who has had ECT most likely. I'm the specimen for their collection. These friends are all about the warmest most non-judgemental people you can imagine, but I still worry.

I still regret not seeing some good friends who moved back to Wisconsin while I was "all about Kayly." I feel deep sadness about losing such good and decent friends. I know we can still exchange emails, cards, etc., but it's not the same as New Year's Eve parties, drop-bys, and other various invitations.

My nervousness is extending to what clothes and shoes to wear and how to do my hair and whether or not to put makeup on. These are not concerns I usually have when I see my friends. I've even come up with conversation topics, in case conversation is awkard and lags. Here is the list so far:

• Obama
• Obama
• the PA primary
• Obama

Yeah, I'm a little one-track-minded lately. Nervous about 4/22, too.

I told you I was old!!!

My baby...MY BABY!!!...SHAVED for the first time tonight!!! SHAVED!!!!!!

It was a family event with Daddy teaching and Mommy sitting and watching and making jokey heart rending wails--much like those above, plus, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why?!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!"

Then Daddy fell asleep and the boys and I looked at google images and yahoo images for "teratoma." Ethan has been going around saying, "My teratoma's on fire!" for no reason, so we read about them on wikipedia and then checked out the images as we've all been fascinated with them for a long time. Other than some sad baby pictures--which made even Holden say, "Oh, poor baby!"--fo some reason we found most of it funny. I know, I know, we're sick. Further proof: we've decided to write a pilot for a sitcom about conjoined twins called "That's No Teratoma, That's My Sister!" We think it will be a bigger hit than "Two and a Half Men."

And, in other news, I've started DVR-ing Countdown with Keith Olbermann and Monday he covered Dyngus Day AND the White House Easter egg roll. Hil-fucking-larious.



I'm officially a huge fan of his now. Now I'm off to play "Blowing a Whistle and Hugging the Bunny."

Still Sending Out Resumes

We do not see things as they are.We see things as we are.--Anais Nin
Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.--Franklin D. Roosevelt
The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of
others.--Hasidic Saying
Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.--Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ever tried? Ever failed? No Matter, try again, fail again, Fail better.--Samuel Beckett

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.--Woody Allen
The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.--Bella Abzug [Or that stupid piece of expensive paper called a degree.--KSN]
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.--Evan Davis

Very frustrating not getting any interviews--well I got that one, but not a second with them.
But yesterday was nice; dinner with the whole family, no arguments or "Eff you"s. I caught myself smiling a lot. Good. New, but good. Then the boys slept in my huge bed with me last night while Nate slept on the couch. I wish we had all fit, but Nate gave up the bed, so I could have my "babies" nearby. Good day. Please just let me get a job. Not retail, not minimum wage, not eight hours on my feet. That would be perfect. Thank you.

Okay, so I said I wouldn't Obamacize here, but:

I love these videos so much:





If those two videos don't inspire you, then I can't help you.
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