Sunday, October 19, 2008

Three different e-mails, all good questions:

Over the past two months I have received three separate emails with the same basic premise, hypocrisy of the right.
Here they are:

Number One:
    • If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic,
      different.'/Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers: you're a quintessential
      American story.
    • If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. /Name your kids Willow, Trig, and Track: you're a maverick.
    • Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. /Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating: you're well grounded.
    • If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience./If your total resume is: local weather girl (sports caster), 4 years on thecity council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with fewer than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
    • If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. /If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.
    • If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society./If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.
    • If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's./ If your husband is
      nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DUI conviction and no college
      education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a
      group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is
      extremely admirable.
Number 2:
  • If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire."/If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."
  • Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America. /White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."
  • If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."/Similarly, if you name your kid Barack you're "unpatriotic."/Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."
  • If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're reckless."/A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."
  • If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African American voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced./If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.
  • If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "arrogant celebrity". /If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing thebase".
  • If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are "presumptuous"./If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a "shoot from the hip" maverick.
  • If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are "an elitist-out of touch" with the real America. /If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.
  • If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an "empty suit". /If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an “experienced executive".
  • If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are "extremist". /If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled".
  • If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter. /If you have an abortion your not a Christian, you're a murderer (forget about if it happen while being date raped.)
  • If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen parents. /If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

Number 3:

  • What if John McCain were former president of Harvard Law Review?
  • What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?
  • What if John McCain were still married to the first woman he said "I do" to?
  • What if Barack Obama left his first wife after she no longer measured up to his standards?
  • What if John McCain was a charismatic speaker?
  • What if Barack Obama were a member of the Keating 5?
  • What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?
  • What if Michelle Obama not only became addicted to painkillers but acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?
Fun stuff. Feel free to send me any others you may receive.

1 comment:

dinainsuburbia said...

interesting.
i should send those to my mother-in-law who is convinced, should Obama win, that it is the end of the world (REM anyone?).

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