blahg-er is blah

Words haven't been floating around in my head so much the past week or so. Images, ideas, pictures, maybe other people's words if I feel like reading for a bit but I'm just not chatty. Not in real life, not on paper, not on the screen. Or in a box with a fox eating lox.
I think the stressing out over the lady parts and the fact that I fucked up and missed my ultrasound on Wednesday and now have to wait until Election Day for the damn thing is just too much to think about so my brain has decided to just not think the way it normally does. Or I had a stroke. (Ah, just kidding. )
So Election Day promises to be... interesting? As I've said before, I do not have the good luck with which my husband has been blessed. For him November 2 is a promising day. For me? It's a terrifying prospect of Republithugs and hysterectomies.
On the other hand, if they see something during my ultrasound, even if it's not good, at least I'll have an answer and hopefully a treatment will be decided for me. Because if they see nothing then I have to decide if I want to roll the dice on a hysterectomy since "it may or may not help with the pain of unknown causes." I'll probably vote no; Nate feels the same. But we are both also hoping for an answer. Ack! This whole thing is just one big-ass conundrum. I don't want to have something "wrong" with me, but I know something is wrong because I don't feel "right." But the doctors--so far--say it is nothing, basically.


As a side note: I finally disconnected my Tumblr account from my Facebook account because I was overwhelming too many people with posts. I know I'm usually too prolific for some people, so the addition of tumblahgblahgblahg to my normal load of blergh scared some people off from reading my page at all anymore.

When it rains it pours and other clichés I hate but use anyway.

Nate’s trip to Vegas for work this year coincided with a “crunch time” at my job, so I had to beg off of going to one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people, yet again. And, BOY HOWDY! Am I glad I stayed here, because not less than 48 hours after he left I became effectively, indefinitely unemployed. I am fairly sure I am still on the hirable list from how it was explained to me, but there are no studies coming up for which I am able to work. Paying off remaining debt plus loneliness plus having no spending money plus nowhere to go plus nothing to do equals… well, my heads explodes at that kind of math.
The same night my job was finished, my iPhone decided to crash. I know if you don’t have an iPhone or other PDA or smart phone on which you entirely rely for all of your notes, lists, appointments, et cetera, that this sounds like a privileged woman complaining about not being able to buy new shoes or something. For me, though, my whole life is run by that cute little device. My memory is poor enough and my appointments are great enough in number that I pretty much can’t get anything done without the ping of the alert or alarm reminding where I need to be. And the notes and lists help me remember what I am supposed to do when I get there. Well, apparently, some of my data was not backed up properly and I am spending the first half of this day calling everyone in hell’s tarnation and saying, “Um, hi. This is Kayly Newcomer. Am I supposed to see you at some point in the future? And if so: when?” I loooove sounding like a mentally challenged weirdo to people with access to my medical records.
Taking a step back, though: before I was able to get the phone to work again, I stayed up until 5:30 a.m. Thursday trying to follow Apple’s convoluted instructions on how to fix my problem. The instructions boiled down to, basically, “If you can’t do ‘a,’ then do ‘a’ to be able to do ‘a.’” Uuummmmm. Hm. So, yes, I basically bashed my head against the wall for a few hours until I had to sleep. I slept twenty minutes and then woke Holden for school; I slept another hour and woke to get Ethan to school; then I slept two hours before I woke to haul my dirty haired, sweaty, rumpled clothed ass to the AT&T Technical Support office on Jonestown Road. He put the phone in something he called “DFU mode” and told me not to touch anything on the phone, but to take it straight home, plug it in and restore factory software and my settings. Even he didn’t know what DFU stood for, but I’m convinced it stands for Don’t Fuck Up. In the end it’s all going to be okay. (I keep taking long, deep breaths and telling myself that, anyway…) The purely annoying (not really important) aspect of this whole thing is that I have over 80 gig of music on my hard drive, but only about 14 gig of space on my iPhone iPod, so I obviously don’t just sync iTunes to the phone; I pick and choose what I want to hear when I’m tooling around and drag it onto the device. There is no simple, time-saving way to back that list up and it has taken me almost the whole year I’ve had the phone to get it just right and weed out the duplicates, clunkers and so on just taking up space. So that process begins again, sigh. But, like my loving hubby said, “Hey, at least you have free time to do that since you’re not working anymore.” Ah, love!
The last of what I hope are the “everything bad happens in threes”-three is just the icing on the big, annoying shit cake I’ve been served this week. On the way home from the tech center I stopped at the library to pick up some books I had on hold. On the way out of the parking lot a woman in a big, ugly truck backed right into my driver’s side rear quarter panel. The first thing she said when she hopped down from the driver’s seat was, “I didn’t see you at all!!” The last thing she said after we exchanged information and were leaving was, “It didn’t even leave a mark on my truck!!” Lady, I know where you live, please don’t tempt me to violence. I don’t need that much of an excuse at this point.
I’ve been in touch with the lady’s insurance company and they said she is accepting responsibility for the accident, so now there is just the pain in the butt of getting it all done—the estimate, the bodywork, the not having a car for a day or two or whatever.
Total non-sequitur: It has been in the 90s for days now, yet today I had to turn on the heat again. It’s 63° in here! What…is the DEAL…with that?
Also, in case you are wondering: yes, I am just pretending I’ve been blogging all along. I have to just jump in and do it and stop being so self-conscious about the quality of my writing. I had a second round of ECT (five treatments) in February and my memory is still revving up to normal, as is my attention span for words on paper—mine or others’. Hopefully, this was readable enough for all six of you!

Please stick with me while I scrapbook the election.

When I first started reading blogs, this is what they mostly were. Collections of others' articles and writings; sometimes with commentary, sometimes not. But now blogs tend to be mostly original content. And mine has mostly been a personal journal of sorts. But, at least until the election is over, there are going to be many more posts like this.

So bear with me. I need to collect it all for "posterity," and if you happen to learn something, all that much better. (I'm a "collector" as you probably know by now. A reincarnation of someone who lived the depression, for sure. If I were a spinster, I'd be a hoarder. Since I'm a family chick, my men keep it--mostly--in check.)

So:

Did you Google yourself 2001 style yet? I barely "web-existed." ("Web-existance" and it various forms copyright me, right now. Use it freely, though. I'll collect royalties once it gets outside of my circle.)

Barack Obama Set Your Voice As His Ringtone. (Weird, I've done the same for him. Must be love, love, love.)

However, John McCain thinks that's a bunch of hooey. (It's also mutual, Johnny.) (BTW, did ya see my t-shirt? I've gotten TONS of compliments on it.)

Do you not think this is one gorgeous fucking map??

Keep an eye on it here.

Uh-oh... photos surface of Obama's radical past
by jab Sat Oct 04, 2008 at 09:10:42 PM PDT
So you Democrats thought you could make this election about the issues?
Yes, the banking system is in a crisis imperiling the entire global economy. Sure, unemployment is rising and incomes are falling. Of course our health care system is the laughingstock of the world. Yes, we're bogged down in Iraq, the 9/11 masterminds remain at large and the Taliban are poised to regain control of Afghanistan. Sure, we run secret torture camps around the world and eavesdrop on U.S. citizens. Yes, global warming is wiping out species and changing the seasons and whipping up hurricanes and imperiling our coastlines. So I can see why you think you'd be able to get people to vote for changing parties in this upcoming election.
But you neglected to consider one thing: YOUR CANDIDATE PALS AROUND WITH TERRORISTS. [click here for photographic proof]

And for those of you with relatives who (AHEM!) believe this shit, here are a few things you can memorize, spout back and then have ignored, because that Palin, doggone it, just a Joe-Six-Pack like me, not no terr-uh-ist like that Barack Hus-SEIN Obama!

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a lying, stubby, saggy-jowled bastard of a mysoginist, chauvanist and, possibly, racist pig.

I know the four people who read this probably either read or were (AHEM! AGAIN!) forced to read the following, but they are my favorites from Sunday.

1. Who You Callin’ a Maverick? By JOHN SCHWARTZ Published: October 4, 2008
   There’s that word again: maverick. In Thursday’s vice-presidential debate, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska, the Republican candidate, used it to describe herself and her running mate, Senator John McCain, no fewer than six times, at one point calling him “the consummate maverick.” [continued at above link]
2. Pitbull Palin Mauls McCain By FRANK RICH Published: October 4, 2008
   SARAH PALIN’S post-Couric/Fey comeback at last week’s vice presidential debate was a turning point in the campaign. But if she “won,” as her indulgent partisans and press claque would have it, the loser was not Joe Biden. It was her running mate. With a month to go, the 2008 election is now an Obama-Palin race — about “the future,” as Palin kept saying Thursday night — and the only person who doesn’t seem to know it is Mr. Past, poor old John McCain. [continued at above link]
3. Sarah’s Pompom Palaver By MAUREEN DOWD Published: October 4, 2008
   I had hoped I was finally done with acting as an interpreter for politicians whose relationship with the English language was tumultuous. [continued at above link]

Somehow I missed this one from Bob Herbert on Friday until tonight: Palin’s Alternate Universe or this one from Gail Collins of Friday: Talking in Points

Sarah Palin apparently thinks I can go to hell for one MORE reason, as if she didn't already have enough reasons.

And this one is just interesting to me and I want to see what anyone else thinks:

Reimbursements Raise Tax Issues for Palin

And, finally, if you've stuck with me this long and care about such things:

My rheumatologist appointment is Thursday, October 16th. I won't have the results of any of my myriad blood tests until then, so it's a pain waiting.

(My update to my online support group will catch you up iuf I haven't caught you up already:

"My rheumy said basically 'I have no clue' when I told her I wasn't any better, now what. So she ordered a bunch more blood tests. She mailed me the lab sheet; it is basically every tests I have ever had done, plus a few new ones, done over again. It'll be a pint of blood, lol."

Then:

"I did just notice that the lab slip say Dx code 710.8 which is
'Index entries containing 710.8:
Disease, diseased - see also Syndrome
collagen NEC 710.9
specified NEC 710.8Fibrosclerosis
familial multifocal NEC 710.8
multifocal (idiopathic) NEC 710.8Syndrome - see also Disease
systemic
fibrosclerosing 710.8System, systemic - see also condition
fibrosclerosing syndrome 710.8'

when she used to code me 710.9 , so I don't know what is up with that. One of the tests she is running is anti-tissue transglutaminase, which i just looked up and it's for celiac, which i was never tested for before, but i'll say right now if i have celiac: SCREW IT! I'll deal with the symptoms, 'cuz i ain't giving up gluten, period. she is running a lyme test again
and all o f the AI tests again: ana, anti-ds-dna, anti-smith, anti RNP, ss-a, ss-b, PLUS all of the normal stuff, thyroid stuff, urine stuff, etc.")

I'm tired and in pain (aching, sore and stiff) from whatever is and then I had an IBS flare-up which started Sunday and continued through when I was supposed to be enjoying a delicious meal in Manhattan last Monday night. And, then, it was gone for Tuesday's View-stravanga. And by the time I got home a cold or similar virus had me in its vice-like grip and continues to palm me a bit more gently now. But working is a bitch because my balance is TOTALLY off, and the respondent's probably all think I am an abused woman as my body is covered in, literally, dozens of bruises from running into every solid object I've crossed paths with this week. I know, it's a virus and I sound like a baby, but please remember I have a compromised immune system because of my previously diagnosed autoimmune illness, so what hits you, hits me harder, most likley, plus I already had this "THING," this "OTHER," going on in my body which is unknown yet. So there.

I'm getting a bit blue from the assholes I seem to be encountering this quarter at work and from not knowing what the fuck is wrong with me physically. But NOT the deep depression that would worry me. This is situational and understandalbe and manageable.

Things bought in NYC:

1. Robert Piguet's Bandit (Hard to find in stores near me and a fascinating fragrance for my collection. I've been wearing it non-stop for a week--yes, even while passed out in bed! And it's a total foil to another serious favorite--and standby--of mine: Robert Piguet's Fracas)
2. L'Occitane's Almond Shower Oil (Because it was there, and I'd wanted to try it. I'm "eh" on it. I thought it would be more moisturizing, but it smells good.)

On The View they gave us the DVD of Iron Man. The audience coming in after us got THIS for free:

• Oreck Platinum Series Powerteam Vacuum is only $799
• Next up is the Kitchenaid Artisan Mixer at $349.99
• Next is the Viper Security Remote Starter for $499
• Next is the 19″ LCD HD TV with DVD Player for $349.95
• And finally the Audio Limited indoor/outdoor wireless speakers for only $99.99

Does my luck fucking suck or WHAT???

Thandie Newton is on Craig Ferguson's show right now and she just said her daughters are named Nico--after THE Nico--and Ripley--after Sigourney's alien whupping woman. How cool is that? Then Craig said he played drums for Nico! How cool is that? I love his show, BTW; he is seriously vying for "the list."

Okay, this post might be my "longest friggin' post EVER."

So goodnight for now.

And yes, the debate rocked. ;-)