The fog creeps in on little cat feet.

For months, I have been excited about a new study the University was going to be conducting on behalf of the Army and NIMH. The original job posting seemed to imply there would be travellers hired in addition to people centrally located to certain bases. The study is close to my heart because of both my own mental health struggles and my respect for our soldiers and my belief more needs to be done to protect their mental health. One of the big requirements for the job was public speaking experience, which I have in spades. The study was postponed so they could revamp a few things and then they reposted the positions. The new posting clearly states that a firm requirement of the job is living within 30 miles of specified bases. None of the bases are anywhere near me.
So the job search I had been half-heartedly conducting while I waited to hear about said study now must proceed in earnest.
The thing is, with no degree and the "gap" of having been a stay-at-home-mother and the tight economy leaving fewer jobs and even fewer people wanting to take chances on unproven workers--like myself--the prospects seem a little bleak. Add to that my unwillingness to go back to retail--oh god, especially during the holidays--and I am, in a word, screwed. (Nearly 25 years of on and off full- and part-time work in retail has left me with a horrible, nasty, disgusting taste in my mouth. After having done "real" and meaningful work, I just cannot go back to that hell.)
Between the health questions swirling around me and this new wrench in the work works and full-on Autumn pounding me over the head with its short days and dead flora...like the poet says, "The fog creeps in on little cat feet." He forgets to say that before it moves on, you need to figure out how to kicks its ass the hell off of its "silent haunches."
Thanks to a few reminders from my bestie I finally bought a light box to try to help with the seasonal aspect of my depression. I have noticed my sleep patterns shifting a bit back towards a normal person's. Maybe a tiny bit more energy throughout the day.... But it is hard to judge its effect on my mood, because I don't know what it would be right now if I were not using the box. Ah, the paradox of the afflicted. Is it me or the "meds?"
For now, I guess, ONWARD! (Meaning not that I might give up on living, but that I may fall prey to total inertia. So here's to one foot in front of the other, y'all.)

I can't fool me!

I have two alarms set on my phone.
One wakes me an hour before I need to get up so I can take my "empty stomach" morning pills. Then I go back to sleep.
The second alarm is so I get up even if I have nothing scheduled. This is so that I maintain a routine even though I am not working outside of the home right now.
Apparently, "sick me" realizes I need to take these pills every morning and they need to be on an empty stomach, but "irresponsible me" says, "Fuck it! I have nothing scheduled today and I want to sleep!" And turns off the alarm without ever waking up.

(And no, the morning pills are not sedating at all; if anything they should help me wake up.)

Mother Blood is Boiling

My mother blood is boiling.
Why?
Erica Jong's WSJ article.
She misunderstands so many of the points she is cutting down, and I was going to address them bit by bit, but then I read this sentence, "It's a prison for mothers, and it represents as much of a backlash against women's freedom as the right-to-life movement," and decided to stop reading. (Don't worry, I will revisit the article once I calm down.)
The second wavers who still espouse this crap make me ashamed to call myself a feminist and seem to want to make me ashamed of having made the choices that I made in my life. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother long before I had any idea of who I would end up with and regardless of the fact that my mother spent my childhood telling me about all of the cool things I could be when I grew up.
It was and still is my ideal career choice, whether or not 2nd wavers or the government consider it a career.
And if I wanted to cloth diaper, make my own baby food, co-sleep and wear my baby, that was my choice, too. When I was doing that stuff it was mostly considered weird at the time, so it was hardly a matter of being "imprisoned" by society or the patriarchy or whatever bullshit these people espouse it to be.
I'm so sick of this type of thinking from the 2nd wave that it is extremely difficult for me to be grateful for the work they did for and before the Third Wave. Just as they seemed to be ungrateful for the generation before them, but they don't like to talk about that, ahem...
I support and respect women who work for pay, whether they have children or not, so when will the unpaid work of women (and increasing numbers of men) be supported and respected as well?

~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPDATE: I have to add that I also resent Jong's use of the term "right-to-life movement" instead of the anti-choice or anti-abortion movement.

When it rains it pours and other clichés I hate but use anyway.

Nate’s trip to Vegas for work this year coincided with a “crunch time” at my job, so I had to beg off of going to one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people, yet again. And, BOY HOWDY! Am I glad I stayed here, because not less than 48 hours after he left I became effectively, indefinitely unemployed. I am fairly sure I am still on the hirable list from how it was explained to me, but there are no studies coming up for which I am able to work. Paying off remaining debt plus loneliness plus having no spending money plus nowhere to go plus nothing to do equals… well, my heads explodes at that kind of math.
The same night my job was finished, my iPhone decided to crash. I know if you don’t have an iPhone or other PDA or smart phone on which you entirely rely for all of your notes, lists, appointments, et cetera, that this sounds like a privileged woman complaining about not being able to buy new shoes or something. For me, though, my whole life is run by that cute little device. My memory is poor enough and my appointments are great enough in number that I pretty much can’t get anything done without the ping of the alert or alarm reminding where I need to be. And the notes and lists help me remember what I am supposed to do when I get there. Well, apparently, some of my data was not backed up properly and I am spending the first half of this day calling everyone in hell’s tarnation and saying, “Um, hi. This is Kayly Newcomer. Am I supposed to see you at some point in the future? And if so: when?” I loooove sounding like a mentally challenged weirdo to people with access to my medical records.
Taking a step back, though: before I was able to get the phone to work again, I stayed up until 5:30 a.m. Thursday trying to follow Apple’s convoluted instructions on how to fix my problem. The instructions boiled down to, basically, “If you can’t do ‘a,’ then do ‘a’ to be able to do ‘a.’” Uuummmmm. Hm. So, yes, I basically bashed my head against the wall for a few hours until I had to sleep. I slept twenty minutes and then woke Holden for school; I slept another hour and woke to get Ethan to school; then I slept two hours before I woke to haul my dirty haired, sweaty, rumpled clothed ass to the AT&T Technical Support office on Jonestown Road. He put the phone in something he called “DFU mode” and told me not to touch anything on the phone, but to take it straight home, plug it in and restore factory software and my settings. Even he didn’t know what DFU stood for, but I’m convinced it stands for Don’t Fuck Up. In the end it’s all going to be okay. (I keep taking long, deep breaths and telling myself that, anyway…) The purely annoying (not really important) aspect of this whole thing is that I have over 80 gig of music on my hard drive, but only about 14 gig of space on my iPhone iPod, so I obviously don’t just sync iTunes to the phone; I pick and choose what I want to hear when I’m tooling around and drag it onto the device. There is no simple, time-saving way to back that list up and it has taken me almost the whole year I’ve had the phone to get it just right and weed out the duplicates, clunkers and so on just taking up space. So that process begins again, sigh. But, like my loving hubby said, “Hey, at least you have free time to do that since you’re not working anymore.” Ah, love!
The last of what I hope are the “everything bad happens in threes”-three is just the icing on the big, annoying shit cake I’ve been served this week. On the way home from the tech center I stopped at the library to pick up some books I had on hold. On the way out of the parking lot a woman in a big, ugly truck backed right into my driver’s side rear quarter panel. The first thing she said when she hopped down from the driver’s seat was, “I didn’t see you at all!!” The last thing she said after we exchanged information and were leaving was, “It didn’t even leave a mark on my truck!!” Lady, I know where you live, please don’t tempt me to violence. I don’t need that much of an excuse at this point.
I’ve been in touch with the lady’s insurance company and they said she is accepting responsibility for the accident, so now there is just the pain in the butt of getting it all done—the estimate, the bodywork, the not having a car for a day or two or whatever.
Total non-sequitur: It has been in the 90s for days now, yet today I had to turn on the heat again. It’s 63° in here! What…is the DEAL…with that?
Also, in case you are wondering: yes, I am just pretending I’ve been blogging all along. I have to just jump in and do it and stop being so self-conscious about the quality of my writing. I had a second round of ECT (five treatments) in February and my memory is still revving up to normal, as is my attention span for words on paper—mine or others’. Hopefully, this was readable enough for all six of you!

Ketchup List

Not that really anyone reads this, but I haven't posted in a month and four days. I've been going thorugh a lot and trying to get back in the groove at work. And...I got addicted to Facebook.
Argh! I didn't even want to join FB, but now I can't stop!
So since last episode:
[I'm going to do this as clinically as possible so as to keep this from rambling on for a jillion words.]

• I had a pregnancy scare.
• It turned out to be false.
• But the negative test was the false thing.
• Because I had a miscarriage.
• I'm now waiting for a second ultrasound because I have polyps or fibroids or something and they need to see them at a different part of my cycle.
• I've spent the past few weeks worrying about surgeries, d&cs, menopause, and on and on. (Tuesday. Just two more days until the next step.)
• I cannot seem to get in the groove at work since my xmas holiday because of the above, the weather and general health problems discussed in this blog that are still unresolved. (My GI appt is this week, too, as is my general practitioner appt, so we'll wait and see what the next step is with my GI system and the neuropathy.)
• My mental health has been suprisingly good considering the above. I'm still generally happy with life, just sad over events. And my moods have been quite stable, thank you very much.
• I'm qute happy with the Obama administration so far and was in awe of the inauguration, and also glad I didn't go regardless of the historical significance of being there. Because I had a much better view from my couch and it was warm there, too!
• So, that's about it for now. I'm no feeling to creative or chatty...FB might be killing my creatitivty gene, lol. OrI'm just preoccupied a few things right now. I don't know.
• But it is quite cool catching up with long lost friends and acquaintances lives. A lot of them are very suprising to me, which is good and bad in many ways. And the pictures that have been posted of me are acting as a mild motivator to get my fat ass moving at the gym, but I still get sweaty palms thinking of a gym. So I'm not quite there yet, but soon. Really soon...
• Holden has a serious girlfriend for the first time and it makes me feel much older than I did right before he started dating her. And a little bit like I've lost a bit of him I'll never get back, now. Sad. But necessary.

Adventures in Tubeland

How hawt is this:

It's the grey man-sweats that make the sexiness complete.

What you see above is me in the midst of a 24 hour pH study. They put the guide wire up my nose, down the back of my throat and into the lower esophageal sphincter. A probe in my stomach measured the pH there, while a higher probe measured the pH in my esophagus. The probe attached to a little computer and I wore it for 24 hours. In this way they can tell if I am having GERD. Having studiously examine the pH numbers the whole 24 hours (hey, it was interesting to me!) I have concluded I probably don't have reflux at all. I also concluded that I am suprised I am able to digest food at all. My stomach acid is completely neutral--hovering around 7.0 for almost the whole 24 hours. The doctor will examine the results and pass them along to my doctors and then they'll tell me their conclusions and what comes next. Should be interesting.

Our pre-lit artifical xmas tree was a huge hassle for us this year, and we spent actual xmas day with no lights on it since it went kablooey for good as Nate tried to light it before I came downstairs. Somehow I did not notice this until later that night when we came home from my mother's xmas dinner gathering. (Probably because I was desparetly trying to figure out what was wrong with our super expensive only two years old Nikon; turns out the lense wasn't on right, duh!) So here are a couple of xmas morn pics:

I got my pay for the end of last quarter and my two week paid xmas holiday. I'm still lokking at the damn paystub in disbelief! I never had a paid vacation before. It's so freakin' weird. And awesome! It wasn't a relaxing vacation, but still...
But back to work starts Sunday.
Blech.

Hey! (Hey!) You (You!): Get into my car!

Yesterday was my 37th birthday. I was sick. I have been sick on every birthday as long as I can remember back to junior high. Apparently I carry the "sick" around but do not allow it to come out until I am done with work, school, holiday shopping and the holidays. My body is either very smart or very dumb. I vote the latter.
In related news, tomorrow is my 24 hour Ph test. The will put a guide wire up my nose, down the back of my throat, into my esophagus. On the outside the wire will connect to a little belt pack computer which monitors the Ph levels in my esophagus for, yes, 24 hours. Sounds fun!!!
For my birthday the boys (whch, of course, includes Nate) and I went to the Melting Pot. One of my favorite places, if not the classiest of my favorites. If you're not familiar with it, it is a chain which only serves fondue. We had traditional Swiss for an appetizer, salads (I had a southwestern Cobb salad), then we had a variety of meats, poultry and fish cooked in the traditional boullion, then for dessert dark chocolate with peanut butter and great dippers. Yum. Even with a bottle of wine we didn't spend a terribly large amount and the boys seemed to have a little fun, so I was happy.
I forgot to mention here, but holden and Ethan went to bed around 9:30 on xmas eve. Holden normally stays up until between 12 a.m. and 1 a.m. on school nights and around 2 a.m. when there is no school the next day. Ethan has a 10 p.m. bedtime on school nights, but 12 a.m. to 1 a.m. bedtime when there is no school the next day. It made me so happy to see they were still at the ages where they can be excited about xmas morning. Holden got an Xbox 360 and Ethan got an Ipod Classic. And Nate and I got lots of great stuff for each other. It was a banner xmas this year.
Then Friday night was my friend Tahnee's surprise birthday party for her 30th which was at Appalachian Brewing Company. We had fun; Tahnee a little too much maybe, lol. It was nice to get out and see people.
Oh and I got a letter today saying I got a 3% merit raise at work.
Good week , other than "the sickness."

Short post to get the balling rolling again.

Tiredtiredtired. And I don't have any idea why, but I am constantly sleeping.
MY BFF and her DH had their gorgeous baby boy, Tobin Samuel Sincoff. (I was up there for a few days so that is my excuse for not blogging for a month, lol.)
I'll post the pics I took after I (finally) email them to the proud and happyhappy parents.
Quick news:

• Boys are on Xmas vacay now.
• My quarter is done (finally!) and I have two paid weeks off. (Great to work for a university.)
• My chest x-ray, bloodwork, biopsies, etc etc were all normal. Cuz it's probably all in my head, right? I am going to take BFF's advice and reuqest a pulmonology follow up for asthma (even though my immunologist seemed pretty sure it wasn't, because, ehy, that's not their speciality, right?) if the 24 hour Ph test shows nothing, since that is already scheduled anyway. Since I skipped it once before thinking it wasn't necessary, that is probably the one test for which they'll find something. Because that is my luck. I could have gone and been taken care of months ago, but I think I'm a doctor or something.
• Honestly it is the kind of tired I had with bad depression, but we'll keep that on the back burner until we know there is no physical reason for it. They already upped my anti-depressant (because of increased depression) and anti-anxiolytic (for sleep since they took me off of the sleep aid I had taken forever because we were trying to weed out some drugs that might worsen the dryness I experience orally, ocularly and-um-vaginally). But I'm going to ask about raising the Effexor XR once again, lowering the cloanzepam back to what it was and going back on the Trazodone at a half of the dose I had been on. (I like chemistry, lol!)
• BFF and I will be starting a slightly different sort of mommy blog shortly.
• My holiday shopping is (almost) done, but nothing is wrapped.
• Reading lot when I'm not sleeping.
• My plants are doing well, knock wood.
• I'm Twittering a bit more regularly the past few days to try to get some momentum to post here.
• And I'm thinking of starting a tumblog. Ooops, I did it. No posts, yet.

My Behind is Behind

Yeah, so it's been a while. It's hard for me to feel like posting as my depression is getting worse and there seems to be too much to say to have the energy to explain. Plus, most of the people in my life already know all of this, but here goes: a recap of sorts.
I had sent an email to my rheumatologist regarding the neuropathy that was a paranoid rant about how "maybe I have sarcoidosis or MS??" My rheumy graciously responding without saying, "Hey nutso!! CHILL!" She explained the reasons why I probably don't have either, but we can run a few tests to prove it and she also suggested I should have had the Ph test for reflux that my immunologist had suggested. (They told me that the wheezing and coughing I've been having for a while was not asthma as far as the tests showed ad it may be reflux--even though I don't have the more common symptoms like heartburn or acid burps. I skipped it because the test required wearing a wire up my nose down into my esophagus for 24 hours, said wire being attached to a little computer I wear on my belt monitoring the Ph levels in my esophagus. Since I was convinced it is not reflux, I said "eewwww" and skipped it.) So I called to schedule that.
Then I got a phone call from my primary care doctor's office saying she received the email from my rheumy and wanted to bring me in to discuss some things we could explore. (They never called me for an appointment before, so this freaked me out a little.)
Meanwhile I had my gastroenterology appointment. The woman told me that we would not do the Ph test as first she wanted to schedule me for an upper GI endoscopy to check for esophogeal damage, ulcers and pre-cancerous lesions. WHAT?? Oooookay. So I scheduled that. Then when the nurse called to go over the procedure and my meds, etc., she said they would do a biopsy to check for eosinophilic esophagitis at the request of the doctor in addition to any they do if the see "something." Oooookay.
Anyway, whatever is causing the wheezing and dry cough is what is probably leaving me exhausted as it obviously interferes with the amount of oxygen I get while I sleep.
Still no idea why I have neuropathy. Probably will have to just live with it at this point. Sigh.
So all of this uncertainity is combining with the fact that it is fall heading into winter and that is always bad for my depression to leave me on a downward slide. My psychiatrist upped my Effexor XR; my PCP took me off of my trazodone and upped my clonazapem and took me off of two other meds (allergy stuff) to try to a) reduce the number of meds I'm taking and b) relieve some of the severe dryness in my eyes, mouth and --ahem!--Sister Suzy. (This is not--as proven by bloodwork--Sjogren's; just dryness from meds and a natural dryness I've always leaned towards. The mouth dryness is annoying because my teeth are starting to chip and break more easily and the eye dryness prevents me from ever wearing contacts. I use Celluvisc in my eyes and various forms of biotene and sugar-free gum to alleviate mouth dryness.)
So now we wait.

In other news, I'm not sure if I've mentioned that both of my boys, in recent months, have cut off their long, luxurious locks into "skater" cuts and my oldest died his black. It actually looks good on him, but the whole "cool teen/tween" thing they are going through makes me sad. I miss my little baby boys snuggling on my lap and laughing crazily at life. Now they are "emo" and perpeutally sarcastic--still funny and not at all depressed, just the projection of coolness and aloofness that makes me miss them even when they are right there in the room.

Holden made high honors and Ethan did well with his first quarter portfolio.

Nate is still working his butt off.

My BFF is ready to pop out a sweet baby boy any day/week now.

My brother-in-law's wife, ditto.

It's hard to be surrounded by baby love just as I'm missing it most.

I've started a few small indoor succulent gardens with various types of living rocks. All of my plants still seem to be doing alright, knock wood.

My book list over there -------> is suffering a bit. I've been reading a lot of magazines when I do read,; I forget to enter books and I haven't reviewed anything for a while. But anyway, at least I'm reading something, right?

And my job... Well, let's just say I'm looking forward to the end of this quarter. I need new sample. New areas to work.

And lastly, poor Ethan is home sick with what seems to be a cold. Voluntarily sleeping. Now that's sick. Poor sweetie.

Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious.

A little wee tiny bit of politics. Just a little.

McCain is a "Card 56 douchebag." Again.




Well, this card-carrying, hairy-legged, socialist feminist will be proud to counter the "counter" of Palin with a vote for Obama.

By now you've probably heard that Palin thinks some of us in the (AHEM!) blue states ain't so patriotic. Card 56 douchebag (and my pal) Michele Bachmann (R.-Minn) was kind enough to have Palin's back on that one. Can't wait for the all-girl version of the HUAC. HOT!

More racist bullshite if you can stand it:

1. Snohomish County GOP pulls "$3 bills" smearing Obama from fair booth


2. Incendiary sign in McCain office links Obama to dictators


3. Obama effigy found hanging at George Fox University

Sarah Palin is an unethical thief, part 2.
Alaska funded Palin kids' travel
(Ya gotta read this one, goshdarnit. Sarah SixPack sounds so goldang down to earth. Just like me. Especially the part about spendin' $21K of someone elses money on plane tickets and thousands of someone elses money on separate luxury hotel rooms for the kiddos over the course of 23 months, you betcha, goshdarnit.)

Horrible people exploit their own children so "the gays" don't get married and somehow...exploit...their children? Hmmm...wait, that can't be right...

This is seriously effed up. What the hell is going on in today's Army? Seriously?

Army to probe 5 slayings linked to Colo. brigade
By P. SOLOMON BANDA, Associated Press Writer P. Solomon Banda, Associated Press Writer – Sat Oct 18, 10:12 am ET
DENVER – Fort Carson soldiers returning from deployment in Iraq are suspects in at least five slayings, and officials want to know why.Commander Maj. Gen. Mark Graham announced Friday a task force will examine any commonalities in the five killings, all allegedly committed by soldiers from the post's 4th Brigade Combat Team in the past 14 months. A sixth BCT soldier faces an attempted murder charge. "We have many great young Americans in our Army who have volunteered to serve during a time of war, almost all of whom are great citizens," Graham said in a statement. "However, we too are very concerned about these horrible acts." Fort Carson also plans to re-screen about 1,200 soldiers from the brigade for potential physical or mental health problems. Earlier Friday, Colorado Sen. Ken Salazar asked Army Secretary Pete Geren to investigate the slayings. Officials learned of the latest on Monday, when Spc. Robert Hull Marko, 21, led investigators to the body of 19-year-old Judilianna "Judi" Lawrence, whom he met on the social networking Web site MySpace, according to an arrest affidavit released Tuesday. The affidavit said Marko told investigators he had violent sex with Lawrence before slitting her throat and leaving her to die in the foothills west of Colorado Springs. His next court appearance is Monday. The issue of homicides by combat-stressed veterans gained national prominence in January, after The New York Times reported that at least 121 Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans had committed a killing in the United States or been charged in one. Karen Linne, a spokeswoman for Fort Carson, said commanders two months ago ordered squad leaders and team leaders to reevaluate soldiers to see if they need additional help following concerns raised after another soldier from the unit was linked to a double slaying. Pfc. Jomar Dionisio Falu-Vives, 24, and
Spc. Rodolfo Torres-Gandarilla, 20, face attempted murder charges in the May 26 wounding of Capt. Zachary Zsody, who was shot twice while standing at an intersection. An arrest affidavit released in August said an AK-47 used in the Zsody case was found in Falu-Vives' apartment and it was also used in the June 6 deaths of two people gunned down on the street while putting up signs for a garage sale. Killed were Cesar Ramirez Ibanez, 21, and Amairany Cervantes, 28. Prosecutors filed murder charges against Falu-Vives on Sept. 15. Three other members of the unit were accused in the slayings of two soldiers. Bruce Bastien Jr. was sentenced last month to 60 years in prison. He pleaded guilty to accessory to murder in the December shooting death of Kevin Shields, and conspiracy to commit murder in the August 2007 death of Robert James.
Bastien, and co-defendant Kenneth Eastridge, both agreed to testify against fellow Iraq war veteran Louis Bressler, the alleged triggerman. Eastridge pleaded guilty July 11 to accessory to murder in Shields' death and will be sentenced Nov. 3. Bressler is scheduled to go on trial in the Shield slaying Nov. 3, while his trial in the James homicide is scheduled for Dec. 1. "Those who committed these violent crimes should be brought to justice," said Salazar. "But these tragedies also raise a number of questions from the backgrounds and service records of these soldiers, to whether they received waivers to enter the service, to the adequacy of mental health screening and treatment within the Army." Falu-Vives and Torres-Gandarilla, accused together in one case and Bastien, Bressler and Eastridge, accused in the two slayings, served in Iraq last year with the 2nd Battalion of the 4th Brigade Combat Team. There weren't any immediate indications that both sets of men knew each other. Marko was a mortarman with Charlie Company, 3rd Squadron, 61st Cavalry Regiment, of the 4th BCT and served from February 2007 until February of this year.

Alton Brown, a man who owes his living to those who love food, is a fattist. Gross.

Food Star Alton Brown Talks Sustainability
[EXCERPT:]”I’ve
struggled with weight all my life, and probably always will. But I was on my most recent book tour I was shocked by the number of overweight families,” he says. “People would come up to me and say, ‘Oh, we love the Food Network.’ Well,
no (expletive); did you eat the TV? There’s only four of you and you can’t ride
in an elevator together. I’ll probably make fat people angry, but we need, as a
culture, to be ashamed. It’s not “… healthy.”[whole article at link]

Finally, a personal note:

Ugh, it was a long day. I left the house at 9:45 a.m. and returned at 8:30 p.m. and still had a bunch of admin stuff to do. At least I'm getting hours in, right?
So..."the incident" i mentioned the other day? Well, a respondent met me at my car with a gun and told me to get off of the property. I quickly obliged. Went back to work yesterday, finally, and got another freakazoid flipping out in their own paranoid, government-hating, inbred hillbilly way. Thus proving that the jokes regarding that particular county's ignorance (in every sense of the word) are based in a modicum of sad, sad truth. I won't name the county, as I would violate confidentiality laws, but if you're from around here, you probably know which county I mean. (Yesterday was not traumatizing, just annoying as all hell.) I'm doing okay now, just dreading the next few months "up there." Nate handled the news admirably, although he is still fighting the urge, he says, to go up there himself. Probably doesn't hurt his odds at not getting shot that I would never tell him the address. ;-)
And I know I haven't talked about my mental state in a while and that is one at least a couple of people ended up here.
So...
It's fall. I'm blue.
But, don't panic!! I'm not what I qualify (for me, at least) as depressed. At lot this has to do with the shorter days. A little has to do with my boys separating more and more from me as they self-actualize more and more. The past few days there is a bit of anger at humans who threaten other humans merely for existing thrown into the mix. And a LOT of it has to do with the exhaustion I have been experiencing lately in conjunction with neauropathy, both of which are, still, as yet unexplained. Sigh. But I know what the causes are, so I am able to deal with the various aspects in effective ways. Today I read that the brain stimulating magnet which I've following closely for years now has been approved by the government for use. This heartens me a lot, and it is something I will try to pursue before more ECT if it ever comes to that. But I am still a hearty proponent of ECT for those who can get no relief otherwise for whatever reason (drug resistance, pregnancy, old age, etc.). Some people might question how I can take such chances with my most important organ. My answer is, if you had ever experienced my brain, you, too, would probably do whatever you needed to do to try to make your way back from hell for yourself, your children, your husband, your parents, whatever or whoever it is that anchors you to this Earth. There was no other answer left for me and I made the decision as fully informed as one can be without actually training to perform the prodcedure. The magnet? Well, I think if I get to that point again, why not try something less invasive? If it doesn't work? Back to the ECT again. And if it does work, but later we find out there was some horrible after effect? Well, I will have had the time that it gave me back, and perhaps my having participated in the treatment will have helped to discover or confirm whatever the problems were. I have no problem with being a guinea pig. As long as I am as fully informed as I can be and I feel comfortable with what is knowable, I feel like maybe my willingness to pioneer (or whatever) could help others who aren't willing to be ealry adapters or guinea pigs or whatever you may want to label it. Some people play(ed) "chemistry class" with their bodies in other ways, I choose to do it in potentially helpful ways, either for me or for others or both.


Moving on...


My plants are all doing amazingly well, even the pothos which I almost (somehow) killed. 9ddon't laugh!) When I divided it into three smaller sections instead of one HUGE section it plumped right back up. YAY!



Just watched Law & Order: SVU and, by gosh, by golly, my honey Chris Eliot played an astronaut stalking weirdo. Straight. It was awesome!

And right after that I watched last night's Countdown, on which he told a cool story:







Keith always has little tidbits like this, and they always make me wonder if there isn't some kind of Six Degrees game we couldn't make up for him. He's connected to EVERYTHING, man!



(And p.s.: His Special Comment was great, too. He hates Bachmann as much as he should.)

And lastly I watched Craig Ferguson (Cleg Feh-guson) who had Leanne Marshall on and went on and about Project Runway. He is actually, apparently, a HUGE fan. Which cemented it: he had made THE LIST!

So the new list is:

1. Jon Stewart
2. Christian Bale
3. Keith Olberman
4. Daniel Craig
5. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt--but only as a team!! ;-)

But most of all my wonderful, loving husband who does sexy-ass-motherfucking things like cook me chocolate pudding, put it in a HUGE measuring cup with a comfortable handle and letting me eat spoon by spoon and not sharing it because I had a tough week and my period on top of that. That's (as Paris would say) HOT!

Someday soon, I'll get my verbosity under control. But there is so much going on in the world right now!!! TTFN, sweeties! (Sleepy....YAWN!)

A little bit on me & stuff-I-read-on-other-blogs-round-up

Hope you all had a great Italian rapist/pillager/enslaver/syphilis spreader Day!

My work computer is at the computer doctor. So I'll have to squish in my hours at the end of the week--again. They might compensate me for the lost hours from computer problems, but I'm not real clear on that. I know they compensated me for lost hours during quarter closing because I did not have enough work left to keep me busy. So, we'll see...

My husband and I celebrated out 14th anniversary on Saturday. He got me a gorgeous Konstantino three stone faceted citrine ring. I'd show you a picture, but it is being sent to the company to be be sized properly for my huge ass hands. :-( But you can see a pink tourmaline version here.

The weekend before this past one Nate got me a bouquet at Costco, and I always like their bouqets, but this had a neat flower called a pink mink protea:

The flowers and leaves got dark at the edges within a week so I have to be more careful about clean vase/clean water/sterm trimming if I get one again. The colors in this flash picture look more clash-y than they do in real life, but they clash in a nice Kayly-ish sort of way in real life.

Then this week I got myself a beautiful Halloween arrangement at Linglestown Flowers and Gifts (don't bother Googling them; it's just their Teleflora site and they do some of their own work that is gorgeous). They always have an arrangement in my Starbucks that are great, but this is the first time I had to buy them. I know I don't seem like a "holiday arrangment" girl, but check this:

The first photo is without flash and the second with flash. The true colors are more subtly in between. Matchy and clashy puply fuschia and fuschia-y purple with that wonderful grass green POP!

Cartoons of the week (courtesy of Bust Blog and Zen Comix):

(I love the Zen Comix one so much because it is the exact point I made during the debate.)

The rest is a random round-up of the election and what I've been reading and watching this past week. Buckle up!

This article by Michael Kinsey about a McCain craps table blow-up is interesting in its own gossipy way. So much for Obama being the only celebrity running for POTUS.

If you're an Obama Mama, you might want to see if there is a group near you.

And if you hate poly-blend fabric as much as I do watch this video. Oh, wait, what? Muslim? Oooooooohhhh....

More ignorant assholes make me lose a little bit more faith in human decency. (Don't watch these if prone to election despair.)

(Actually definelty watch this one; the blonde is hy-fucking-sterical. Watch her devolve.)








This one is GOLDEN, girl! (P.S. I heart Craig.)







A momentary lapse of the normal idiocy (of course, I won't mention that McCain thinks the opposite of Muslim is a decent man, but hey, he was trying, sort of):

BOO BOO?????

Big ballot boo-boo: Osama for president?
Rensselaer County gaffe makes national news after absentee ballots misspell Barack Obama's name By BOB GARDINIER, First published in print: Saturday, October 11, 2008
TROY — It could have been Ovama or Ofama. Or even Olama. [continued at link]

Alrighty, ya, you betcha! I'm tired, doggone it! I'll find some more and get back to ya!

Please stick with me while I scrapbook the election.

When I first started reading blogs, this is what they mostly were. Collections of others' articles and writings; sometimes with commentary, sometimes not. But now blogs tend to be mostly original content. And mine has mostly been a personal journal of sorts. But, at least until the election is over, there are going to be many more posts like this.

So bear with me. I need to collect it all for "posterity," and if you happen to learn something, all that much better. (I'm a "collector" as you probably know by now. A reincarnation of someone who lived the depression, for sure. If I were a spinster, I'd be a hoarder. Since I'm a family chick, my men keep it--mostly--in check.)

So:

Did you Google yourself 2001 style yet? I barely "web-existed." ("Web-existance" and it various forms copyright me, right now. Use it freely, though. I'll collect royalties once it gets outside of my circle.)

Barack Obama Set Your Voice As His Ringtone. (Weird, I've done the same for him. Must be love, love, love.)

However, John McCain thinks that's a bunch of hooey. (It's also mutual, Johnny.) (BTW, did ya see my t-shirt? I've gotten TONS of compliments on it.)

Do you not think this is one gorgeous fucking map??

Keep an eye on it here.

Uh-oh... photos surface of Obama's radical past
by jab Sat Oct 04, 2008 at 09:10:42 PM PDT
So you Democrats thought you could make this election about the issues?
Yes, the banking system is in a crisis imperiling the entire global economy. Sure, unemployment is rising and incomes are falling. Of course our health care system is the laughingstock of the world. Yes, we're bogged down in Iraq, the 9/11 masterminds remain at large and the Taliban are poised to regain control of Afghanistan. Sure, we run secret torture camps around the world and eavesdrop on U.S. citizens. Yes, global warming is wiping out species and changing the seasons and whipping up hurricanes and imperiling our coastlines. So I can see why you think you'd be able to get people to vote for changing parties in this upcoming election.
But you neglected to consider one thing: YOUR CANDIDATE PALS AROUND WITH TERRORISTS. [click here for photographic proof]

And for those of you with relatives who (AHEM!) believe this shit, here are a few things you can memorize, spout back and then have ignored, because that Palin, doggone it, just a Joe-Six-Pack like me, not no terr-uh-ist like that Barack Hus-SEIN Obama!

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a lying, stubby, saggy-jowled bastard of a mysoginist, chauvanist and, possibly, racist pig.

I know the four people who read this probably either read or were (AHEM! AGAIN!) forced to read the following, but they are my favorites from Sunday.

1. Who You Callin’ a Maverick? By JOHN SCHWARTZ Published: October 4, 2008
   There’s that word again: maverick. In Thursday’s vice-presidential debate, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska, the Republican candidate, used it to describe herself and her running mate, Senator John McCain, no fewer than six times, at one point calling him “the consummate maverick.” [continued at above link]
2. Pitbull Palin Mauls McCain By FRANK RICH Published: October 4, 2008
   SARAH PALIN’S post-Couric/Fey comeback at last week’s vice presidential debate was a turning point in the campaign. But if she “won,” as her indulgent partisans and press claque would have it, the loser was not Joe Biden. It was her running mate. With a month to go, the 2008 election is now an Obama-Palin race — about “the future,” as Palin kept saying Thursday night — and the only person who doesn’t seem to know it is Mr. Past, poor old John McCain. [continued at above link]
3. Sarah’s Pompom Palaver By MAUREEN DOWD Published: October 4, 2008
   I had hoped I was finally done with acting as an interpreter for politicians whose relationship with the English language was tumultuous. [continued at above link]

Somehow I missed this one from Bob Herbert on Friday until tonight: Palin’s Alternate Universe or this one from Gail Collins of Friday: Talking in Points

Sarah Palin apparently thinks I can go to hell for one MORE reason, as if she didn't already have enough reasons.

And this one is just interesting to me and I want to see what anyone else thinks:

Reimbursements Raise Tax Issues for Palin

And, finally, if you've stuck with me this long and care about such things:

My rheumatologist appointment is Thursday, October 16th. I won't have the results of any of my myriad blood tests until then, so it's a pain waiting.

(My update to my online support group will catch you up iuf I haven't caught you up already:

"My rheumy said basically 'I have no clue' when I told her I wasn't any better, now what. So she ordered a bunch more blood tests. She mailed me the lab sheet; it is basically every tests I have ever had done, plus a few new ones, done over again. It'll be a pint of blood, lol."

Then:

"I did just notice that the lab slip say Dx code 710.8 which is
'Index entries containing 710.8:
Disease, diseased - see also Syndrome
collagen NEC 710.9
specified NEC 710.8Fibrosclerosis
familial multifocal NEC 710.8
multifocal (idiopathic) NEC 710.8Syndrome - see also Disease
systemic
fibrosclerosing 710.8System, systemic - see also condition
fibrosclerosing syndrome 710.8'

when she used to code me 710.9 , so I don't know what is up with that. One of the tests she is running is anti-tissue transglutaminase, which i just looked up and it's for celiac, which i was never tested for before, but i'll say right now if i have celiac: SCREW IT! I'll deal with the symptoms, 'cuz i ain't giving up gluten, period. she is running a lyme test again
and all o f the AI tests again: ana, anti-ds-dna, anti-smith, anti RNP, ss-a, ss-b, PLUS all of the normal stuff, thyroid stuff, urine stuff, etc.")

I'm tired and in pain (aching, sore and stiff) from whatever is and then I had an IBS flare-up which started Sunday and continued through when I was supposed to be enjoying a delicious meal in Manhattan last Monday night. And, then, it was gone for Tuesday's View-stravanga. And by the time I got home a cold or similar virus had me in its vice-like grip and continues to palm me a bit more gently now. But working is a bitch because my balance is TOTALLY off, and the respondent's probably all think I am an abused woman as my body is covered in, literally, dozens of bruises from running into every solid object I've crossed paths with this week. I know, it's a virus and I sound like a baby, but please remember I have a compromised immune system because of my previously diagnosed autoimmune illness, so what hits you, hits me harder, most likley, plus I already had this "THING," this "OTHER," going on in my body which is unknown yet. So there.

I'm getting a bit blue from the assholes I seem to be encountering this quarter at work and from not knowing what the fuck is wrong with me physically. But NOT the deep depression that would worry me. This is situational and understandalbe and manageable.

Things bought in NYC:

1. Robert Piguet's Bandit (Hard to find in stores near me and a fascinating fragrance for my collection. I've been wearing it non-stop for a week--yes, even while passed out in bed! And it's a total foil to another serious favorite--and standby--of mine: Robert Piguet's Fracas)
2. L'Occitane's Almond Shower Oil (Because it was there, and I'd wanted to try it. I'm "eh" on it. I thought it would be more moisturizing, but it smells good.)

On The View they gave us the DVD of Iron Man. The audience coming in after us got THIS for free:

• Oreck Platinum Series Powerteam Vacuum is only $799
• Next up is the Kitchenaid Artisan Mixer at $349.99
• Next is the Viper Security Remote Starter for $499
• Next is the 19″ LCD HD TV with DVD Player for $349.95
• And finally the Audio Limited indoor/outdoor wireless speakers for only $99.99

Does my luck fucking suck or WHAT???

Thandie Newton is on Craig Ferguson's show right now and she just said her daughters are named Nico--after THE Nico--and Ripley--after Sigourney's alien whupping woman. How cool is that? Then Craig said he played drums for Nico! How cool is that? I love his show, BTW; he is seriously vying for "the list."

Okay, this post might be my "longest friggin' post EVER."

So goodnight for now.

And yes, the debate rocked. ;-)

"On Wednesday We Answer Readers' Mail"

Okay, it's not really "readers'" mail, more like writer's received email.
But today from the inbox:



This is serious, please read if you hven't already:

[from Feminist Majority] South Dakota voters may be deciding for the rest of us whether a state can ban abortion. Early voting began this week in South Dakota. We have not a moment to waste - we must act now. The sweeping abortion ban on the South Dakota ballot (Measure 11) would make it nearly impossible to obtain an abortion in South Dakota and threatens doctors with a felony charge carrying up to 10 years jail time. The ban's so-called exceptions recklessly endanger a woman's health and privacy. If this draconian ban passes, it could become the national test to reverse Roe v. Wade. We can't let this happen--contribute now to stop this draconian abortion ban. About half of your emergency contribution will go to the state-wide coalition -- Campaign for Healthy Families -- which is buying media ads to mobilize voters. The other half will go to support our campus campaign for organizers, vans to transport students to the polls, phone banks, signs, leaflets, and other campaign materials.Feminist Majority Foundation has two dozen paid student organizers and scores of volunteers working to mobilize students on South Dakota college campuses to register voters and to defeat this dangerous abortion ban. With our help, South Dakotans defeated a similar ban in 2006. But this year, the polls show the measure will be harder to defeat because of its more deceptive language. Remember: What happens in South Dakota in November could affect women nationwide. We must stop this drastic anti-abortion state ban in its tracks. Act now, we don't have a moment to waste.

♪Climb every mountain!♪

I ghost-wrote letters to the editor for the McCain campaign
By Margriet Oostveen
Sept. 24, 2008 "You can be whoever you want to be," says an inviting Phil Tuchman. "You can be a beggar or a millionaire. A mom or a husband. Whatever. You decide!" [continued here]

Word to the hockey mother:

Campbell Brown Rips McCain Camp's "Sexist" Treatment Of Palin
"Tonight I call on the McCain campaign to stop treating Sarah Palin like she is a delicate flower that will wilt at any moment," said Brown. "This woman is from Alaska for crying out loud. She is strong. She is tough. She is confident. And you claim she is ready to be one heart beat away form the presidency. If that is the case, then end this chauvinistic treatment of her now. Allow her to show her stuff. Allow her to face down those pesky reporters... Let her have a real news conference with real questions. By treating Sarah Palin different from the other candidates in this race, you are not showing her the respect she deserves. Free Sarah Palin. Free her from the chauvinistic chain you are binding her with. Sexism in this campaign must come to an end. Sarah Palin has just as much a right to be a real candidate in this race as the men do. So let her act like one."

BREAKING NEWS:

McCain will be suspending campaiging to return to D.C. to work on the bail-out and thinks the Friday debate should be suspended. A week into the issue, he decides to get involved in doing his job and thinks the debate should be suspended. Hmmmmmm... That cracks me the hell up for some reason.

From HarrisburgPAFreecycle:

[I cannot make this shit up.] "I have a half dozen pairs of Mens Briefs (tighty whities) in size 56". They are slightly soiled, most noticeable in the butt area. They have been washed, but still a bit
on the gray side.If you 'big' enough and need some draws, let me know."

Gucci Coochi:

Designer vagina trend 'worrying'
A leading urogynaecologist has spoken out against the growing popularity of cosmetic vaginal surgery. Professor Linda Cardozo, of King's College Hospital, London, says little evidence exists to advise women on the safety or effectiveness of procedures. These include operations to make the external appearance more "attractive" and reshaping the vagina to counter laxity after childbirth, for example. [continued at above link]

[More in "I cannot make this shit up" news]
Gives "Yummy Mummy" a WHOLE NEW meaning:

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Milk
Group Says Move Would Help Humans, Cows
WATERBURY, Vt. -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman. [continued at above link]

Whenever I agree with George, I throw up in my mouth a little, but hey: good article...

McCain Loses His Head
By George F. Will
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
"The queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. 'Off with his head!'
she said without even looking around." -- "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
Under the pressure of the financial crisis, one presidential candidate is behaving like a flustered rookie playing in a league too high. It is not Barack Obama. [continued at above link]

Loves me some Barbara:

The Power of Negative Thinking
By BARBARA EHRENREICH
Published: September 23, 2008
GREED — and its crafty sibling, speculation — are the designated culprits for the financial crisis. But another, much admired, habit of mind should get its share of the blame: the delusional optimism of mainstream, all-American, positive thinking. [continued at above link]

I'm adding Shakesville to my blogroll, check them out if you get a chance.

Not much new in Kayly-land. Tomorrow night I am going to a PPAC fundraiser with my GF Tahnee. Get my drink on, yo. This quarter is almost over at work. Sunday I'll get my new lines. I think I'm a geek because I am excited about this.

Yuck it up with some old (young) Sarah. She my guh-rul, yo.

Ketchup.

Oh...where to start?

Family:
Holden started his drum lessons. So far he is liking them and practicing. We told him he couldn't buy his drum kit until he has stuck with the lessons for a month or two.

Both boys are back in school now. Holden is enjoying school and doing very well, despite his last minute jitters right before he started about going to SciTech. Ethan's school hired a new teacher, so he doesn't have the teacher he thought he'd have and is quite relieved and happy with the new teacher so far.

I got tickets for The View in the mail today. I don't remember requesting them and presume I did it around the time I had ECT. Ma vaguely remembers me asking her about going sometime around the ECT. So my grandma, Ma, and BFF Vicki are going to see The View and, hopefully, get some good free shit. But at the very least BFF and I will get to boo H-ASS-elbeck. Ma and Grandma and I will go up to Manhattan the night before for a "night on the town" since we have to be there early for the taping.

Health:
I finished my antibiotics for the possible Lyme disease last Friday, so if I don't feel better by appx. the 26th, then back to the drawing board regarding the neuropathy and exhaustion. So far all is pretty much the same. Hence the lack of posts lately, because if I am not working, I'm resting. Plus my allergies are out-of-fucking-control right now. I've decided to go ahead with immunotherapy for my allergies, despite the huge time commitment the damn shots will be. But I don't see my immunotherapist until around Thanksgiving. Eh, I'll muddle through, like I always do, I guess.

I've decided to try acupuncture for my pain, but the appt. has not been made yet. (Other things I have not set up yet: 1. Tuning of the piano for Ethan as he wants to take lessons. 2. Lessons for Ethan. 3. Taking my computer in to have the wireless fixed. [Out since my vacation in July...] 4. Setting up a pedicure date with my girlfriend Tahnee as promised. Okay, hold on, I'm going to make some phone calls...)

Politics:

1. Sarah Palin. 'Nuf said. Anything else and my blood pressure rises. But feel free to Google "Palin's lies" or "fact check Palin." Or for the latest gossip on the Palin family, check this out. Plus The Daily Show has been an excellent source for pointing out the McCain-Palin hypocrisies.
2. Love Olberman's "McCain in the Membrane" feature.
3. I'm "eh" so far on Maddow's new show, so far, although I, too, am "Gay for Rachel Maddow."

Dumb-Ass Crap you probably don't care about (even more so than usual, lol.):

I updated my "Books I've Read" list.----------> then scroll down

Some chick I work "with" (remember: it's all relative...) got fired and might get prosecuted. The details will bore you, especially if I already told them to you, lol. But the gossip was juicy to me, anyway.

New shows on the regular DVR-timer list:

1. True Blood
2. Privileged

Sad the season is over/almost over:

1. Swingtown
2. Weeds

Treasured old friends I'm glad to welcome back:

1. Bones
2. House
3. The New Adventures of Old Christine
4. How I Met Your Mother
5. The Office

Uhhhh...pdate.

Okay. I'll try to cover it.
The dishwasher is still not fixed. It's been a whole ordeal worthy of an epic adventure movie, and more time wasted waiting "from 8 until 12" than you need to watch all of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
However we did find out that we probably won't have to pay any kind of tuition for Holden as the district has been accepting whatever funds they receive for SciTech students. So yay! for that, if it is, in fact, correct information. But, considering the source, it is probably correct.
Nate's car is (mostly) fixed. That was an ordeal, too, involving me playing chauffeur and faulty parts, etc., etc. He still has no AC, but that was his choice. The radiator is golden, though.
I've been working a lot in Lebanon area, so that is a lot of travel back and forth. On the other hand, that's a lot of mileage payments and travel time that counts towards my total weekly hours.
I'm getting down to the tough part of the job: catching the chronic "no answer" doors. Some people are in there and don't answer. Some people answer and jerk you around or are just plain mean. And some people are just NEVER home, no matter what time I knock. It sucks a bit. But I'll try not to get too discouraged. Which is difficult.
And, finally (for now--I've gotta hit the showers and suit up), my health.
My primary care doctor did not feel the thyroid nodule my gynecology nurse practitioner felt. My thyroid is still chronically enlarged--surprise, surprise considering the word "chronically" in the title there.
Anywho, my PCP said my recent health problems (the neuropathy, some excessive hair loss [clumps], my extreme tiredness all of the sudden, my sudden weight gain of 10 pounds despite my eating earlier in the day and being more active, my increase in pain, my slow healing wounds and my easier-than-usual-even-for-me bruising) could be due to about a dozen different things. So out came seven large tubes of blood for about 12-15 blood tests, including one where they have to keep the blood warm until it is tested, so I had to go the hospital lab instead of the lab at my PCP's office. She also x-rayed my neck from a few angles to see if my autoimmune problems were causing my cervical spine to be swollen, thus pinching nerves and causing the chronic neck and upper back pain in addition to the neuropathy. Still waiting on all of the results. She said she'd call within two weeks. I hate waiting. Hate it. They should tell you right away what's up. Because if these tests show nothing, there are further medical tests she wants to perform. She suspects my AI disease is in flare, or that I have new AIs added to my old diagnosis. Either way, treatment would involve steroids, which I don't want to do at this point unless my doctors all agree that this is the only option right now. I'm hoping it is as easy as B12 shots or adding a relatively benign (compared to steroids) drug or two. Cross your fingers for me.
That is all for now. I'm sure there is a ton of other stuff I can catch my huge throngs of readers up on, but that is what is popping up on the way to the gallows, I mean work. ;-)
P.S. Check out the last post on Bishkek Bop, and then follow my BFF to her new/old blog: Nothing Personal. Nobody deserves this happiness more than BFF and BFF's DH. MWAH, Sincoff family!!

When it rains, it pours. And whatever the opposite platitude is.

My past week...

1. The other week, when I was in Ann Arbor, training, I started having limb tingling. Not just my feet or legs or hands or arms, but everything from my elbows to my fingertips and my knees to my toes. It feels like when your body parts "fell asleep" and are "waking up." This is called neuropathy. Apparently to have it in arms AND hands AND legs AND feet on both sides is not as common as other types of neuropathy. I could have a really bad pinched nerve somewhere, probably in my cervical spine. I could have Buerger's Disease. I could have MS. I could have autoimmune peripheral neuropathy. I could have hip cancer. Other than the last one, all are plausible due to my autoimmune history. (But, of course, hypochondriac that I can be, I do remember having very bad hip pain last week, once, and a few other times in the last year.) Whatever it is, more drugs, unfortunately, will most likely be the answer. My appointment is in a few weeks.
2. Nate took his (recently paid off) Catera into the fancy dealer shop (where he bought the car) and found out his radiator needs replaced right before our vacation for $800 and to repair his long broken AC would be another $2400, not to mention his sunroof isn't working so the poor bugger is roasting to death. We said nay on the AC as that would cost more than the car is worth now. And he called the local guy to see what he could do for the radiator. $400. GREAT! But parts won't be in until next week. When we're in Rehoboth. Call to grandparents: Can we borrow a car for a week, because we need two cars to get to the beach house with all of the stuff and kids and the dog? "Yes." GREAT!
3. A week spent worrying that I am sucking horse dong at this job. Conference call today. I am WAY far ahead (like a week or so of work) of many of the new girls and even most of the old-hands. Yay! I'm a bit competitive (stop smirking!!) and am now fretting over the week I am going to lose on vacay. Almost immediately after I had my "yay!" moment, I then had my "oh NO!!" moment. Typical.
4. Our dishwasher has been not working for a while. The Sears repair guy gave me our $400 estimate and then told me it'd be cheaper to buy a new one. A) No it wouldn't, we're picky. B) I want to repair and not replace. Better for the Mother and all that. But C) $400?!?!? SUCKS! Damn Mother! We approved the estimate. Parts will be in next week, so repairs are the following week.
5. Car and dishwasher aside, we are eagerly (yeah, right) awaiting the tuition bill from Holden's high school. Since he is attending another district (the science magnate school in the next district over), we'll have to pay them. He won some money based on merit, but apparently we're now "rich" and therefore the first people from out of district to have to pay anything at this school. The rest of the kids have always received needs-based money from the science foundation to cover the whole tuition. SUCKS! (Who knew being rich sucked? We've waited 15 years to be "too rich" for something, and now I wonder why. Bills just expand to meet income somehow. Where're my mani/pedis? Where's my weekly massage? Where's my wine cellar? Where's my housecleaner? Where the HELL is my pool-slash-whirlpool-slash-patio-slash-poolhouse cum guesthouse?)
6. Tomorrow: Laundry, and then we PACK! Happy 4th of Ju-freaking-ly!!

Make no mistake, I do have my trashy novels ready for the beach!

Back. Tired.

Well, I'm back from training and started working. After eight days of training, I was exhausted, so I started on Tuesday, and am currently done with what I had to get done, but haven't been sent the sample, which is the next step. Still waiting. Guess I'm too fast for my own good. But oh well, I have another day off. Unless they send me sample later today.
We leave for the beach on the 5th, so I want to get a lot done this next week, so I don't get too far behind. Plus of course the crap I need to get done to be ready to go to the beach.
My body is still adjusting to new schedules and working and walking so much. Last week I walked about 4 miles a day. I'm hoping even the small segments of walking I do here at home will help me to lose a little weight or at least keep me from gaining more. The worst part is being in the heat which always tires me out badly. So, I'm a bit achy, very tired, having increased inflammation and frustrated that I'm waiting for the next step, but other than that: I'm okay!
It feels good to be working, especially at a real job. Hey, I got my business cards and work cell phone yesterday, how cool is that??
Other than all of that, not a whole lot to say, but I will try to do a better job keeping up here, now that the training is done.
P.S. Ann Arbor (where I trained), MI, is a very cool college town. A lot more liberal and artsy than I expected. A good place to visit and SO MANY good places to eat. It was hard to choose every night.

Hot, sticky ramblings

Spamspam (Spam email created from spam subject lines)

6/07/08 #1

To: kaylynewcomer
Caricature Creator
RE: What makes you tick?
get to know who u truly are
create don't delay
we are pure light beings
You could give yourself a great present
We sell joy!

6/07/08 #2

URGENT!!
My Proposition.
Dear Friend
You Gonna Love This
men meds Jill
Greatness is measured by the size of your manhood
Do you have trouble walking?

Hey, did y'all notice today is 6/7/8?
And did y'all notice it's 400 fricking degrees outside? And 7000% humidity?

In other news:

1. Hillary endorsed Barack.
2. My composting has officially begun--with freecylced buckets, no less! (YAY, green me!)
3. We have all three ACs (one 10,000 BTU downstairs and two much smaller ones upstairs for "zone control" as the call it) installed in the windows. The downstairs one is a new Energy Star model we bought on Thursday to replace the working, but dinosaur-like 15+-year-old model we inherited from Nate's Dad 13 years ago and curbcycled last year--we saw the guy take it, so we know it went to a person not the landfill.
4. I got a freecycled foldable drying rack for the basement as an addition to our three laundry lines down there. I've been wanting one for a while, so yay on that, too.
5. I leave for training in Ann Arbor in nine days, and I'm starting to get nervous about having a paid grown-up job for the first time in my life.

"Recipe" for "spa water": Slice up half of a[n] (organic) cucumber and one small (organic) lime, place in bottom of pretty glass pitcher. Top with a few handfuls of filtered water ice cubes, then fill with filtered water. (Alternatives: various combos of sliced citruses, various combos of handfuls of berries, thinly sliced ginger with or without lime, sprigs of fresh herbs, etc.) Much cheaper and better for environment than flavored, bottled water (bonus: you can eat or compost leftover flavorings) and makes you feel like a fancy spa lady--especially if you sip it while soaking in a deep tubful of water by scented candlelight and listening to soothing music.

But if you try, sometimes you just might find you get what you need.

• My MP3 player has been playing what sound like set lists when set on shuffle.


• I finally found a job which seems a great fit for me and is twice as much money as I've ever earned before.


• Things are going well in my friends' and family's lives, if not always as expected.


• I feel like things are looking up in the world in general with a man such as Obama running for POTUS.


• I feel happy and relaxed and am catching up on life.

I used to listen to the Rolling Stones song and only hear, "You can't always get what you want."

Now the next line makes so much sense to me.

For those who are interested:

The new job is a one year contract with the Institute for Social Research's Survey Research Center at University of Michigan. During that year I will be going out into the field in my area and gathering data for the CDCs National Survey of Family Growth. My hours will be very flexible. I am on my own in the field. I will be making twice as much money as I ever have and get paid twice THAT for training for a week this June at University of Michigan all expenses paid. To me this will be like a vacation as I love staying in hotels. And I get to use one of those awesome tablet computers! What could be better?

DRUMROLL, PLEASE!

I
GOT
a
J
O
B
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The CDC position, more later as blogger is having an outage in 5 minutes...