But if you try, sometimes you just might find you get what you need.

• My MP3 player has been playing what sound like set lists when set on shuffle.


• I finally found a job which seems a great fit for me and is twice as much money as I've ever earned before.


• Things are going well in my friends' and family's lives, if not always as expected.


• I feel like things are looking up in the world in general with a man such as Obama running for POTUS.


• I feel happy and relaxed and am catching up on life.

I used to listen to the Rolling Stones song and only hear, "You can't always get what you want."

Now the next line makes so much sense to me.

For those who are interested:

The new job is a one year contract with the Institute for Social Research's Survey Research Center at University of Michigan. During that year I will be going out into the field in my area and gathering data for the CDCs National Survey of Family Growth. My hours will be very flexible. I am on my own in the field. I will be making twice as much money as I ever have and get paid twice THAT for training for a week this June at University of Michigan all expenses paid. To me this will be like a vacation as I love staying in hotels. And I get to use one of those awesome tablet computers! What could be better?

DRUMROLL, PLEASE!

I
GOT
a
J
O
B
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The CDC position, more later as blogger is having an outage in 5 minutes...

Fortuitous or coincidence?

Since about December I have been wearing a beaded chain--like for dog tags--with a peace symbol, a Kwan Yin medal and a Saint Dymphna medal. I also have another St. Dymphna medal on my charm bracelet and three St. Dymphna prayer cards scattered throughout the house. No, I'm not anywhere near Catholic, but this saint--the patroness of mental health--spoke to me on a more basic level, and it can't hurt to have her near, right?
Today I picked up my necklace after my shower, which was fine when I laid it on the dressing table, and the St. Dymphna medal just fell off--the ring holding it on was broken. I put her back on with a new ring just in case, but is someone speaking to me about something or is it just a weird coincidence that she falls off when I seem not to need her much anymore?

Random stuff:

1. Job interview this afternoon, wish me luck. This is for the CDC field researcher position which is a one year contract job for the National Survey of Family Growth.
2. Yesterday I had an unexpected phone interview for an admin position with SEIU. She asked why I wanted admin when I clearly had the experience for an organizer position. It's the hours, the hours, the hours. Not ready for upwards of 60 hour weeks quite yet. Maybe when the kids are in college. But she will be calling me when they figure out where they are going with their office reorganization. It went well. Now hope they hae a position for me.
3. Ethan has an orthodonstist appointment today. Just normal braces readjustment stuff.
4. He had a doctor's appointment two days ago. Scoliosis check. He's fine, despite what the school nurse thought she saw.
5. I got a lot done errand-wise yesterday after BFF Vicki left. (We ate a late breakfast at Waffle House to drown our post-primary sorrows in the syruppy goodness of waffles, the wonderful toast dipping goodness of over easy eggs and, of course, bacon, bacon, bacon. YUM!)
6. After I wrote yesterday's entry regarding the primary, I actually felt a lot better.
8. What could be better than #7?

A collection of thoughts on the PA primary... (dedicated to BFF's DH)

Hi Ethan! Thanks for letting me have your wife last night. [wags eyebrows suggestively]

First of all, let me say, you are all aware of the 10% margin of victory for Hellary yesterday, but are you also aware it was really only a 9% margin? Yes, it's only a 1% difference. But since so much has been made of "single digits" versus "double digits" margins I thought I would point out that while the media is apparently and mathematically-correctly rounding Clinton's 54.6% of the vote to 55% and Obama's 45.4% to 45% and then incorrectly stating she won by double digits--which is SUCH a big deal, right?--anyway, that I would point out 54.6% minus 45.4% equals 9.2% which rounds to 9%. Single digit margin. "NYAH! to you Mainstream Media!!"

Let me also point out that Obama won in the urban and densely populated areas of the state--which makes it seem to me that the GOTV plan wasn't concentrated on enough in those rural areas which went to Hellary. The Obama GOTV plan is an elegant document; if applied properly my dog could probably win an election. The plan combined with Obama's excellence should have worked in these "spread out" rural areas just as well as in densely populated areas.

I won't even get into how furious I was that MSM declared Hellary the winner based on exit polls with less than 1% of the vote counted. Or that Hellary gave her victory speech with fifty-some percent of the vote counted and only an 8% spread. Exactly what year did they stop counting the votes? I cannot even remember...sigh...If democracy is my religion and it is so fucked up what does that say about me?

Furthermore, Hellary the Smunt (a term coined by BFF Vicki after I called Hellary a "smug cunt") is STILL actually LOSING!! Pennsylvania awards delegates proportionally so Clinton only closed the delegate gap by twelve pledged delegates, leaving Obama still in the lead by 156 pledged delegates (1487 vs 1331) and in the lead including the supedelegates (who may yet change over to Obama as they have already been doing) by a total of 133 (1719 vs 1586). He is also winning the popular vote by about half a million votes despite Hellary's claim to the contrary in Indiana today. She forgot that Obama wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan and didn't campaign at all in Florida, and regardless, those votes won't count for anything anyway when it comes time to award delegates, and will count for even less when he wins North Carolina, South Dakota and Oregon and pulls ahead in the popular vote no matter what fakakta math you are using.

A word on superdelegates: Obama has been steadily closing the gap since January including some superdelegates who have switched from Clinton (see here and here but there may be others I am missing, and there are many who remain committed to the vote leader--names in green, whomever that may be, or uncommitted altogether).

As for Hellary the Smunt's claims to have raised $3.5 million last night: I'll believe it when I see it on official campaign finance documents. Remember, the woman has made a lot of claims (also see: here, here and here) in her day and I don't believe much of what comes out of her mouth.

An aside to Vicki: there was a whole story on CNN about the Abercrombie & Fitch guys last nigh. Mystery still unsolved. But I did like Jeanne Moos suggestion for Aberobama & Fitch t-shirts.

Finally, I will leave you with this great column from The Huffington Post:

Ten Things to Remember on Tuesday Night

by Seth Grahame-Smith

Hillary Clinton will win Pennsylvania. Arguments over the meaning or meaninglessness of her win will dominate MSM and stretch bandwidth to its breaking point. Bloggers and pundits will dust off their favorite boxing metaphors: "Hillary's off the ropes!" "Obama can't land the knockout!" Hillbots will rejoice, Obamabots will panic, and McCainbots will watch Murder She Wrote and go to bed at six-thirty. I'll probably write a scathing post attempting to prove that Hillary is the devil incarnate. We'll all lose our minds. In hope of preventing some of this hysteria (especially my own), I thought it'd be helpful to keep a few things in mind during Tuesday night's results -- from Hillary's "victory" speech to the blizzard of spin that's sure to follow:
1. Remember that there's no way Hillary can become the nominee without a superdelegate coup -- which would alienate a generation of young Democrats and dangerously fracture the party.
2. Remember that her campaign leaked internals showing an eleven point lead (as a means of firing up her supporters and getting out the vote). Therefore, any win smaller than eleven points should be considered a disappointment by her own assessment.
3. Remember that every time Hillary begins a sentence with "you know," or "my opponent," the next thing out of her mouth is a lie.
4. Remember that when Clinton surrogates say "this proves Obama can't win the big states," they're ignoring the fact that he actually won more delegates in Texas -- not to mention twice as many states as she has.
5. Remember that when the pundits argue that Obama can't win in white rural areas because they broke for Hillary, they're ignoring the fact that he won (in alphabetical order): Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
6. Remember that when Hillary talks about who will be "better against John McCain in the fall," she's talking about the fall of 2012.
7. Remember that Hillary's campaign is $10M in debt, while Obama's has more than $40M in cash on hand.
8. Remember that Hillary's lead in Pennsylvania was as a high as 26 points only a month ago.
9. Remember that Hillary's late Pennsylvania rebound was forged in the fires of negativity and fear-mongering.
10. Remember that the only manufacturing job Hillary ever brought to Pennsylvania was the manufactured notion that she was a middle-class, whisky-swilling duck killer, and not an anti-union multi-millionaire.

At the request of another blogger...

...my thoughts on the PA primary:

BLURG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More later when my brain has collected the whole mess into a cohesive polemic...I mean thoughts.

Random news:

• I have another broken tooth. That's three broken teeth or fillings in a year or so. I started wearing my night guard again in case it is from grinding. OOOoooohh, S-E-X-Y! I'm also wondering if all of my meds aren't somehow eff-ing up my teeth. I know my mouth is always very dry.
• I am almost positive Holden and I will attend the Obama rally tomorrow night. I know it will be packed and it will mean HOURS in line--not good for my legs and if it is as warm as it is today the heat is not nice to me physically either. This leaves me ambivalent, but Holden says he doesn't mind the really long wait to see O-man, so how can I say no?
• Obama on Colbert :...

• ...was actually not as funny as the "EdWords" on Colbert:

• Did I mention it is hot here today?
• I met my fundraising goal on my Obama fundraising page!! YAY!! (But feel free to donate, anyway if you like, lol!)

I have a discharge...

...from the PHP--why? What did you think I meant? Today was my last day. Even though I've been told for months the outpatient program isn't taking new patients, my PHP psychiatrist and counsellor have agreed to have my care transferred to them. Sweet! (I think they liked me, lol. My counsellor asked me if I would sign a release form and basically repeat a session for a recorder so he could type out the transcript and allow him to use it for a seminar he is leading next month. And my counsellor and psychiatrist both told me many, many times how intelligent I was and how well I was doing in the program. This never really happened to me before in treatment. Maybe a stray mention of my intelligence, but that was about it. It pleased my inner apple polisher.)
I've gotten quite a bit done today as well, AND have a job interview next Thursday for a field researcher position for the CDC. It's a one year contract job and good money, so wish me luck. I also heard from an SEIU employee yesterday who may be interested in interviewing me for an administrative assistant position, but she hasn't returned my return phone call yet.
The kids have off of school tomorrow as the teachers will be attending the PAGE conference, so I'll have a day to relax and spend time with my family. And sleep in. YAY!

Long time, no see!

I know, I know: I'm lazy right? No, I've been very busy "changing the way I think so I can change the way I feel." And it is exhausting me!

Catching up: the last time I posted was right before my oldest's 14th birthday (April 10th) and so this weekend we had six boys over for a movie, cake and pizza, and then 3 of them spent the night. The boys saw Superhero Movie. Nate took them as I really didn't want to see that movie and I get very anxious around other people's kids. Then they came back for pizza, chocolate cake and rollicking good fun. I had a glass of wine while they rollicked outside. Along with an "I'm-about-to-have-a-panic-attack" Klonopin. After a while Nate and I retired to the bedroom so the kids could take over the living room. They played piano, Wii, and sprinkled snack crumbs all over the floor as if for some bizarre teenaged boy ritual commemorating the Gods of Snacks. Nate made them blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast. I slept in as I was unable to fall asleep until well after the last waking sounds emanated from the horde. I told you: I get nervous with other people's kids!

Sunday we had a soccer game after the boys all went home, then my niece's 2nd birthday party right after that. (She was born on Tax Day, and her arrival was, indeed, taxing on my poor SIL.)

This is Syd Vicious on Easter morn:

AAAAaaaaaaawwwwwwww!

After the festivities at my brother's house--45 minutes away--we came home. I was exhausted from the long week and weekend and the stress of it all so I put on my sweats and settled in on the couch.

And then my cell phone rang.

As an Obama volunteer I was invited to see him speak at the Steelworker's Union Hall in Steelton for Bob Casey, Jr.'s birthday party.

So I threw my clothes back on and went. The speech was great and has made the rounds in the press and blogosphere. This is most of the speech:

I got a few *okay* pictures afterwards, but did not get to shake the man's hand, get an autograph or speak to him. This are my two favorite pictures from that night (both taken blindly over a group of people):

This one:



And this one:

But I did get to shake Bob Casey, Jr.'s, hand. It wasn't cold, slimy or scaly like I thought it might be. I said to him, "I've never been a fan of yours..." He laughed here, so at least he has a sense of humor, but I wasn't actually joking. "...but I really appreciate what your endorsement will do for Obama in Pennsylvania. Thank you." Photographic evidence of meeting here:

It felt gooooooood to "speak truth to power!" ;-)

The past three days I've still been in PHP. It's all review for me, but the reminders are helping me to remember to do the things I was supposed to have been doing for the past 15-20 years. The things I knew I was supposed to have been doing, but haven't been. I am a little skeptical of CBT. To put it mildly. But I will go through the motions a suggested. I hope to be done tomorrow or Friday at which time I will again post more regularly.

Or maybe after the election... Wish PA luck please!! (I view it as a good sign that Primary Day and Earth Day coincide. And also that my BFF will be travelling to Hburg to visit me, drink in bars--I mean attend Primary Results Watching Parties in bars, and then staying up until the results are in. Approximately.)

Countdown with Kayly

More a random brief list than the top stories of my day:

5. One glass of red wine and two warm chocolate chip cookies for bedtime snack tonight

4. Total 419 emails today: 9 (average, I'd say)

3. Creepy blog: Stay-At-Home Daughters (be sure to read their profiles; also, this launches a new sidebar feature Read It and Weep--title courtesy of BFF Vicki, royalties to be paid upon my book deal ;-* --send me creepy, scary and/or brainwashed Jesus-bots blog in addition to ridiculously poorly written blogs, hilariously jingoistic blogs, etc.)

2.Most important post I read today: Who Knew Spring Cleaning Could Feel So Good???

1. Most annoying commerical I have seen way too fucking many times: That would be the Nutriystem commerical with Dan Marino and Larry the Cable Guy

P.S. I think I learned a new trick today from my Feedjit widget: I believe if I mention SEIU and Obama I will get more traffic from pro-SEIU and/or anti-SEIU bloggers and/or employees. Next post I'll mention SEIU without mentioning Obama and see if that works or if it's only the combo.

My word in edgewise. Hell, my word full-frontal!!

GROUP SUCKS DIRTY, SMELLY MONKEY BALLS!
I cannot stand listening to people whine about how horrible their life is when they are clearly unwilling to change it at at all. I am sick of listening to people describing a breakup (not even of a marriage) of ten years ago as what is causing them to be "depressed" today. I am totally over the concept of "I can't find a mate" as some sort of synonym for "depressed." You wanna know depressed? I'll show you depressed, then I'll turn it sideways and shove it up your lazy, whiny ass. I am exhausted with trying to give my opinion or insight (as we are supposed to) only to be cut off by yet another manic bipolar person. I am exhausted, period, from listening to the manics in the crowd.
In other news, I like my counsellor and psychiatrists quite well, thank you. I even heard a phrase I never remembered hearing from a counsellor of mine before which had an impact on me. I need to validate all of the "invalidated emotions" from my childhood and young adulthood. Now, it is such an elementary phrase and concept, but it was honestly not familiar to me. Maybe it is one of the things I "lost in the fire." (Hmmmm... This is my terminology for the memories I lost in ECT, but it just struck me that I have never used it in this forum before.)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was described to me YET AGAIN in one "educational seminar" today. I get it! I get it! But the last step has had me stuck for about fifteen years now. HELP ME WITH THAT!!! AAAAARGH!
I forgot to wash my travel mug so I had to throw out my paper SBUX cup which made me feel guilty. Yes, I have gotten to the point where I feel guilty over one paper coffee cup and sleeve. I didn't have time to pack my lunch for some reason (which was a nice rounded healthy meal) so I ate at KFC and felt guilty about the factory farmed chickens and the paper I was wasting and the crap I was putting into my body and the underpaid workers and...and... Yes, somebody please stop me. This is not right. I think I am getting, goddess forgive me for even thinking it, too eco-concious. But then Nate mailed me this article, and I realized, "Maybe somebody should "worry about the birds." Maybe 'too' isn't so bad when some people are 'not enough.'" I just wish I wasn't so quick to judge myself for little "misses" when I have so many "hits." (Oh, but if I could figure out that last step of cognitive behavioral therapy, I'd be able to forgive and forget the "misses," right?)
I got abso-fucking-lutely NO errands done today, although I still have to take my youngest to his soccer practice at 6:30. So...library and Humane Society tomorrow maybe?

Ah, remember when...

Remember when I was so inspired by those Obama videos?

Well here is a funny-ass, scary parody, enjoy! (Be sure to watch for the sign language interpreter!)

And remember when anonymous people used my blog for their SEIU agenda? And then I said "Chill, my eyes are opened, you need not try to pry them any further open?" Well "Negative Anon" left one last comment, which I want to address. I don't want to climb the SEIU ladder, I know it is brutal work, but I believe in the transformation taking place, so please use your own blogs for snarky political infighting or at least have the balls to sign your name.

Random list: Some favorite posts from this past week

• Bishkek Bop: Embracing Parenthood, One Purchase At a Time
• Bitch Ph.D.: Coming Out of the Menstruation Closet
• BlondeSense: Florida Shines Again!-April 7 (Actually read all of 7 April--funny stuff. Or sad. Not sure.)
• the field negro: I can't suspend my disbelief
• The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks: If you call that music
• Zen Comix: 241 Days Until Zappadan

Re: Last Post

Regarding comments left on my last post:
Look, I've known people who work there and I know the hours are Brutal. They even say on their job descriptions 55-60 hours, and I know that is minimum. But the people at this office seem to be good people and I believe in the work. BUT I don't know tha I can even get an interview with them, much less a job, and then I haven't decided that it is an ideal sitch for me, yet. But thanks for all of the advice, Anon #1 & #2, I'll take it to heart. And *cool* that people are commenting, even if I don't know who they are and they probably only got here through a google search on SEIU.
On a related note: I'm loving my feedjit widget right now.

T-I-R-E-D

I told you: "sharing with the group" makes me tired. Plus the two times I had to repeat my life story for my resident psychiatrist and then the attending psychiatrist. And I didn't even SEE the counsellor today, so I' ll repeat it a third time tomorrow.
Well, I didn't like group. Surprise, surprise. Besides the fact that I have to listen to strangers' problems when I already have my own with which I don't know how to deal, I also have to tell a whole roomful of strangers my life story. So I held back a bit today, but I had good feedback that what I did say was said well and was a good start.
Then there's the little annoyances of being in a roomful of people and having to be paying attention to one person. The various weird noises and habits of people who are supposed to be paying attention but are sucking candy loudly or breathing oddly or whatever. As those who know me know, I have "issues" with distracting noises or movements. Chewing loudly, sucking your teeth or candy, chewing or cracking gum loudly (all of what I call "mouth noises), "rutching" around a lot, bouncing your foot, feet or legs, cracking your knuckles, etc., etc. These all earn my evil glare and, sometimes, if I love you enough (lucky you) a stern and bitchy, "Stop that!!" funny thing, though: I do a lot of these things myself and find it perfectly acceptable for ME to do so. So...um..suck it, I guess, lol.
Seriously though, I am exhausted and want to nap, but we leave for soccer practice soon. On the plus side, I am almost done with "The Audacity of Hope" book on CD (pirated from the library to my MP3 player), so there's that to look forward to while waiting for practice to be over, I guess.
As far as errands: I got my recycling all dropped off and picked up my prescriptions, but will have to go to the library tomorrow. (I always think it's okay to return stuff a day or two or six late anyway, as they need all the money they can get, right?) Also on the afternoon errand list: finally dropping off the leftover meds at the Humane Society and getting Zeke's (now 3½ months overdue) dog license. (Bad, bad, dog owner!!)
419 email tally for the day: 14!!! (That might be an all time high for me.)
Hopefully I make it through the rest of the night and the whole day tomorrow. But, so far, I haven't really gotten anything from the program. I'm sure it's just because I've only just dipped my toe in the pool today. But now the introductions are (almost) done, and I demand results, damn it!! ;-)
OH! P.S. I met a lady today with an SEIU for Obama button who actually works for SEIU and gave me her card and told me to send a resume. ("They're ALWAYS hiring!") I also know one of their "big guns" down there, so I sent it off already, but I am not expecting much. Their hours, though, are Brutal, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that, either.

And then to bed.

I still haven't figured out how lunch works tomorrow. A stupid little thing which has been nagging at me. Strange since there is so much else to be worried about. For example how much one on one counselling I will get and how much group is involved. Or what group will be like. Or what "activities" means exactly. And how tired I will be after a full day of baring my soul to strangers. Telling the same stories yet again. I am bored with the stories. I just want to know how to deal with this crap in my life, but I don't really want to have to tell the stories AGAIN.
I have library books overdue and library books to pick up and recycling to drop off and prescriptions to pick up and soccer practice yet again tomorrow night. And the prospect of doing these on what is sure to be little sleep and a full day of counselling does not make me chipper at all.
I sincerely hope this program helps to get me somewhere. I fear the depression will soon be creeping back if not. And that fear is dangerous to the cycle of depression. I got "healthy" and now I need to actually get healthy with that energy I regained. The window will soon close and I'll have to start all over again. I know, I know, negative Nelly. This kind of thinking is what does me in every time.
Okay, how about:
I WILL get healthy.
Did it sound convincing?

Some horrible stats...

This isn't normally what I post, but I have to share with you all. It doesn't fit the Obama blog, and I don't want it to go unnoticed.
A female in the service right now is more likely to be raped than to be killed by enemy fire.
Mindblowing.
As is this horrible story about a murdered female soldier who got pregnant during a rape.
I have nothing more to say on this, but it is heart-rending.

Random, Disconnected Paragraphs

Aw...I've been blogrolled finally. I prefer my term bloglogged, but I guess that is not a recognized word in blogland.
Another word I'm liking today is Barack-blocked. I heard it on The Daily Show, but it has officially entered my lexicon now.
In case anyone is wondering: I skipped my gyno appointement. Too tired among other reasons, which include, but are not limited to: laziness, a thorough dislike of the whole process and the fact that it was my last chance to sleep in for two weeks.
It is flip-flop season and I can't afford a pedicure. It's DIY time, but I never do as well as the professionals. Sigh, I need a J.O.B. Anyone? Anyone wanna hire me? Pretty please?
Well, I have submitted my resume to the the Obama campaign for their post-primary fellowships. Nate has given the go-ahead for non-paid work, however as much as I want a position I am discouraged by the lack of spending money until November. Oh, and the fact that the application is totally aimed at college students, and as a 36 year old woman I don't work too well under college students. But I've done it before, so... We'll see, I guess.
And, finally, I had updated my reunion.com profile in case there is EVER a HS reunion for my class EVER again. It hadn't been updated since my last address, so I needed to change that. Now I have been getting emails saying people have been looking at my profile, but I cannot see who it is because I don't have $5 a month to "connect with old classmates." Hopefully they find me via Google if they really want to say, "Wassup?" (I'm using the word ironically, folks. Yesterday I couldn't stop saying "redonkulous" until it stuck in Nate's head, to his great consternation.)
Okay, I'm good for now. You?

Am I an idiot?

I love R.E.M. I really, really do. I've seen them twice; we own almost all of their albums. Given a choice of music to listen to they are near the to of the list. But god-DAMN if I have no idea what 99% of their songs are about. Now there are a lot of bands who have songs I don't get, but none on such a grand scale as a band I've been listening to for 20 years. Anywho, I was just watching Subterranean and saw their new video and was like, "This is good; what is it about?" And felt a bit like an idjit.
In other music news--as Tabitha used to say--there was also a video by Andrew Bird which I quite liked; but then realized I recognized from a commercial. Turns out he is quite the adman. So far I've found the series of Illinois commercials and the Marriott Residence Inn commercials. Know any others? Shoot 'em my way.
Speaking of shooting... Poor Nancy Reagan. HA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, can't help but be a little jubilant. Moses is dead and NancyReagan is heartbroken? It's like a twofer. My BFF Vicki let me know the news this morning: "Go ahead, Kayly. Pry it from his cold, dead hands. I know you want to!!! :)" Ah, you know me all too well, Vicki, love.
Vicki, you'll be relieved to know the girls are safe but disappointed to know the prick is still on the loose. Why are my friend and I so fascinated by FLDS?? May I suggest Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer? If you don't get it then, I cannot help you.
Well, I'm off to bed for my early morning gyno visit. Wish me...uh, luck?

FX: There is no box. (Except on this week's episode of Dirt!!)

My husband suggested today's title after I made the joke last night. (In case you don't know Dirt [Sunday at 10 p.m. on FX] is a show on FX network and their current tagline for the network is "There is no box." You know, like they are not just thinking outside the box, but there isn't even a box, period. It's smart although a little abstract. Anywho...) We finally watched this week's DVRed episode and there is a sex scene in it with a "K-Fed"-type character and the Shar Jackson-type character. They showed "Shar" entering bed nude, and at first it's a standard after 10 p.m. naked butt shot. BUT THEN, oh but then... Nate and I looked at each other in shock and rewound. As she climbs into bed you could see the behind shot of her vulva!! Holy CRAP!! How did THAT get past censors?? It's obvious, you do NOT have to be looking for it hard to notice it. Are we THERE now? I don't know if I'm impressed or worried. Openness about the human body and sexuality are good, but it could go horribly awry, too.
Not much happening today. Spent it mostly in my sweats on the couch.
To which pursuit I am returning now.

For Linda

Yay?

My counsellor had suggested that now that I am doing well after the ECT and because my "issues" are at the root of my depression--on top of biology, that is--that perhaps a partial hospitalization program would help by giving me the intense therapy I need to get on with dealing with these issues. I'm resistant because I hate--I mean HATE--group therapy. But, apparently, group is but a small portion of the help I will get. So we are on the way to completing the referral. I will be going to Hershey Med Center (again) starting on Tuesday unless my insurance says "Nay." The program there is 9:00 a.m.-3:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. Hmm? Do we eat there? I forgot to ask...


In other, not so interesting, news: I wanted to ask you to make note of my "What I'm Reading Now" feature on the sidebar. (It's over there ---> somewhere; scroll down and come back; I'll wait.) Okay. Note how all of the books have good grades? Yeah, well, I give books a "30 page test." First let me say, I carefully "vet" books before I buy them or check them out of the library. So if they make it to the list at all, we can assume I would call them at least a "C" or I wouldn't be interested enough to go the trouble. I am not forced to read stuff like a real book reviewer might be. Then I read the first 30 or so pages with as open a mind as is possible for me. If, for some reason, I am bored or do not like the tone or tenor of the book, I will put it aside and move on. Hence only "C+" and above will ever show up here. UNLESS, and this is a big exception, I decide to foray into bizarro world and read a book I know I will hate to keep abreast of the "enemy." These are almost exclusively non-fiction books and happens rarely, as I must have the mental strength to get through it without wanting to hunt down the author like an animal. Right now I am number nine (!!)--up from number twelve--on the waiting list at the library for a book called--no lie--Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning by Jonah Goldberg. Now, you can click the link, but if you buy it, I can no longer be your friend. Please check your local library if you must, like some masochist such as myself, read this polemic. Here is the cover:


How could I resist such filth?? It so worries me that I am number nine up from number twelve, but then again, maybe they are all spying on the enemy, like I am. (If not, then I rather like the irony of "conservatives" partaking of government services like the public library. But I'm sure they'd never get it!)
Oh, funny, I just got a phone bank call from Obama's campaign. Funny, because I have been phone banking, too. He was on script, but I interrupted him to save him time. "We are 'strong supporters,' I am already a volunteer, and we are already donating money." Check, check and CHECK! Next call. Do you want to phone bank for the April 22 PA primary? Go to the website click "Make Calls" about halfway down the page on the right, or if you are in PA click the "Pennsylvania Neighborhood Teams" box and sign up to make calls. You can do it from home, they give you a script and it makes a big difference for the campaign, believe me!! After the first few you'll get the hang of it if you've never done it before. Plus you can put it on your resume if you want to. (Speaking of resumes: I got another rejection ths morning--well, the position was already filled. Same diff in the end.)
Now: to the errands!